Any advice welcome…. We’re married for a decade with 2 children aged 9 and 7. Last time we had sex was 3 years ago and our sex life was really limited since with had our DC.
I have this block about restarting sex that I can’t overcome. My DH never initiates and is “waiting” for me (his words) because some time ago he felt rejected by me not wanting sex much and wouldn’t want to pester me.
I have a very healthy libido as I feel the need to masturbate several times a week, and yet I can’t force myself to be close to my DH again.
I can’t describe why. Being in my mid 30s, I still feel like I’m quite inexperienced and immature sexually. And DH is not a good communicator at all, so we can’t really discuss it much. It’s all or nothing for him, he replies “when you’re ready” to every attempt to talk about it. I almost feel resentful of how he never mentions the subject. Why wouldn’t he?
We’ve had a normal sex life in the past, very active, but probably not developed into a “mature” sexual relationship as we’ve had an intense 1 year of dating following marriage and TTC, and nothing in between.
TBH, I do struggle with a loss of physical attraction to my DH. It is not even about him being slightly out of shape (I need to work on my physique too!), it’s about something that I’ve lost emotionally. It was never only about the physical aspect for me, it was always about being emotionally aroused and I don’t get that anymore. DH is a good person, dedicated to our family, but I do struggle with anxiety and he’s a very poor communicator and I often feel lonely, especially that we both work crazy schedules on top of parenting.
I don’t know what to do. I’m dreaming about resetting my mental attitude to sex and about a happy active sexual life. Why can’t I force myself to do it again?