Reconcile with husband?

[Forwardsorbackwards]

Dh and I seperated in the summer as a result of quite rubbish behaviour on his part, combined with his general lack of interest in me and family life.
We have been getting along better and he has told me he loves me and wants to try again.
I still love him deeply, but have definitely lost trust in him.
I am also having serious doubts about him keeping up his 'good" behaviour.
He has moved out and is moving somewhere suitable to have the dc early next year.
He has said he doesn't want to do this and wants to come home.
I feel that this is more to do with the expense/inconvenience of moving from where he is living.
I still have doubts as to whether it is me he misses, or the cushy family life he messed up whereby I did far too much wife work and he lived his own life.
I am so torn as to what to do.

I have told him I think him getting his own suitable place is the right option, as I would want to see long term change and couldn't risk letting him back in the house, only for things to go back to how they were.
Am I mad for even entertaining us sorting this out with so much water under the bridge?

I think the fact he has caused you so much pain but has shown no accountability or remorse for doing so is a clear warning that things are unlikely to change if you reconcile.

If i were you i would let him live a year on his own so if you do get back together he will appreciate you and NEVER FORGET that if he doesnt pull his weight then he is back there. Don't back down & trust your instincts xxx

There is nothing in your posts that makes me think you should try again.

Your gut is telling you no. You are happier, your home is calmer, without him. You are frightened of his responses. You know his presence is not good for your DC. He is being nice now because he's about to have more expense with a new home, and will have to look after himself. He thinks his life would be easier with you. It might be. But yours would go back to being hard. You split for a reason. That reason is still there. He would go back to his old ways very fast if you got back together. In fact he's likely be worse, as he'd see you taking him back as a sign he can treat you badly and you always let him back.

You would then be unhappy again but worse - you would be angry at yourself for letting him back, You'd have to go through the past 6 months again. More confusion for your DC.

No no no no no

You deserve better.

Speaking from experience I would strongly advise that you remain living apart and take things very very slowly. That word ‘convenience’ you mention, who’s got more to gain by reconciling? I’d say it’s him.

I suspect you are all absolutely right.
I don't think he will ever understand why his actions, or lack there of, hurt me.
I really just doesn't get it.
I do love him very much though, as do the dc and that's bloody hard.

I have reported the previous post.

The number of times people have been taken in and allowed them to come back and their behaviour has just gone back to how it was! You split for a reason. Be strong . He has a selfish prick and you’ve made the break!!! Be brave and let him get his own place