My OH and I have been together for around 13 years and have two children. Life can be great but at other times it can feel really tough. I don’t talk to many people about it because it’s too hard to explain and I’m sure it probably sounds petty but here goes (for the sake of getting it off my chest).
We have separate bank accounts and always have. We’ve got a mortgage etc and we work it so that we have the same amount of disposable income left each per month. He is the bread winner but I also work full time and have a full on career. Every few months he starts to bring up how much he pays out a month from his account and this then escalates into an arguement that I don’t want or seek and try to be solution focused. We’re not hard up at all and our disposal income is very healthy but I’m made to feel guilty that he pays more (he earns more). We stat down this time around with our spread sheet and he told me his monthly earnings and it seemed that he had less spends than me- so i instantly agreed to pay him every month to make up for this as I genuinely had no idea. Anyway, today I found his payslips (he’d left them on the floor of his office) and it turns out that he earns more a month than he’d told me. I’m so upset that he’s lied to me and made me feel guilty that for the past few months I’d been better off than him. I told him I’d seen them and he said that he had no idea how much he was earning each month?? I know this sounds so petty, but it’s more that I’d felt bed and wanted to make it right when it was false.