A decision I can't seem to make

[MaddKatt91]

Hello,

I'm in the middle of a decision that for months I have been unable to make. I cant shake the fact that I want to move back closer to my friends and family.

3 years ago, I moved away from my friends and family (3 hours drive away), to start my own family. Since then, my own family has separated and I have a 2 year old son. The dad wasnt great to me, but hes always been a good father. At the moment we are on good terms and we often see each other for the benefit of our son. However, I am frequently getting the feeling that I dont know why I'm still living here, and I long to move back closer to who I know and love. For more support and so my son can see his nan/grandad/auntie more often. But to move my son away from his dad, where he would see him only on the weekend, feels selfish. But at the same time, I'm struggling here - I have a good job, but I cant save any money because its so expensive here, I have no close friends and family here so I'm often on my own.

I feel I have two options: move closer to my friends and family, up root my whole life and find a new house and probably a new job, sort nursery out etc. Or continue to stay here so my son can see his dad more and struggle... what would you do?

Personally, if he wasn't great to me, then I would move back. If he wants to see his child more often, he can move too.

Weve discussed it and hes very adamant hes not moving anywhere, as his job is here - which I do understand. He also has no friends and family nearby however, he just refuses to leave the area. That's his decision to make though

I'd move back. I presume you moved to your ex's area? If that relationship has now ended and you have no ties to the area except him, I'd return to my home area.

Would you be happy to do the lion's share of any travelling for visitation? If so, then I don't see the issue with you moving back per se, but it would seem quite unfair for you to expect your ex to do the majority (or even half of) the travelling, if you're the one that chooses to move away from where you decided to start your family.

I’d move back close to your family and friends. It will be a good for your son to be close to family. Your ex can’t call all the shots

I’d move back close to your family and friends. It will be a good for your son to be close to family. Your ex can’t call all the shots

Move back if you can. Better for your son for to be happy. Sounds like your ex has no ties and could move close-ish to you if he wanted?

Did you move to his area in the first place?
As the relationship has broken down, I'd definitely want to be nearer to my family and friends support network.