I’ve been with my DH 15 years, married for 10, 2 DS (7 & 9). We sort of tick along for a while but there doesn’t seem to be any emotional connection between us or shared interests. There’s a big cultural difference too but I feel it goes beyond that and it’s more to do with the fact that we are really different people who just happen to have ended up together. I often feel bored and unstimulated. We don’t really do anything fun together bar the occasional meal out and end up watching telly and scrolling on our phones. Is this the norm? His idea of fun seems to be drinking and listening to jazz (both things I’m not interested in) and I’m constantly craving conversations (he finds my interest in debating about important issues too “intense”). I admit my moods fluctuate quite a bit and things seem to affect me quite deeply whereas he doesn’t really seem to care about much or show any emotion. We’ve done couples therapy and tried to come up with a schedule to play a game or do something once a week but we soon revert to the default setting of slouching on the sofa and barely saying much to each other.
We had another argument today because now and again I just find my relationship so dull and boring that I can’t hide how sad it makes me feel. He basically said he’s accepted I’m never going to share anything he wants and told me he doesn’t want to try because he can’t stand my opinions if I dislike something.
I’m not sure what Im asking but I feel so demoralised. We’ve talked about separating in the past but then made up and had some good times but it feels we always come back to the same place and I don’t know if there is any real hope of our relationship improving significantly or if I just need to accept this is it.
Anyone in the same boat?