When did you breath easy again?

[AngrySunday]

I left my exDP a couple of months ago. Things were ok until he met someone else quite quickly and he changed over night. He is somewhat controlling and I have a hard time accepting what I have been through.

Any way I just want to know when does it start getting easier? When will I wake up and not feel that heavy feeling sat on my chest and the tears below the surface. He is making my life a misery either when he is in contact or even when he is not. I know I need to give him no headspace but he is unpredictable so every day feels tense. I just want to be free from him. I thought leaving would enable this but it hasn't. And everything I do to try and "make things better" makes everything even worse.

Are you still in contact because of children? If so I’m hoping it will end when they are 18 😬

Do you have reasons to stay in contact, kids or finances? Whether you do or not keep ALL contact to one mail address exclusively for this and only deal with it when YOU want to. Take control of the situation basically.

Yes sorry. We have a child together and we had to leave the family home as I felt unsafe remaining there. But by doing that he now has even more financial control over me and he is so inconsistent with contact for our child that it stresses me as he will not make any solid plans. Obviously the new gf takes priority over our child now too.

An email address is a good idea. I have already stopped doing hand overs too.

I’d wait for him to contact you if he wants to see his child, other than that I’d carry on with your life. Don’t get stressed out trying to arrange it.

Kick off the divorce or selling the house, do it all via a solicitor so you don't have to talk to him

Go via the cms for child maintenance, again so you using have to talk to him.

Block him on all channels except email. Tell him you'll make your dc available for him on a specific day or eow, if he chooses not to turn up at the arranged time, go out and don't give it a second thought. Stop trying to faculty's relationship with them, that's his job, if he chooses not to, it's his loss.

Buy a cheap mobile and give him the number, let him be the only person to have the number. Block him from your usual number , and put your new phone on silence. You can return his calls when it suits you , and you won't be at his beck and call all the time .