I’m coming up to my 37th birthday next year and I am a mess. Life hasn’t gone to plan at all. I’ve done well at work but I’m not performing my best recently and while nobody has commented (yet), I am struggling in myself and constantly fear losing my job.
A few years ago my long term partner left me…I thought we would be together always. I was devastated. I had lots of therapy and since then I met someone else, when I never thought I would, and in summer he broke me by ending things out of the blue. I was so hurt by it I completely closed off from life for a while.
I tried to pick myself up and six months later I’ve been dating again but I’m just so hollow. I have been hurt so much and I’m so much older now.
My much younger sister had a baby last week. She’s settled and lives in a nice big house, never really worked or had to stand on her own two feet as she’s been with her husband since 18. I feel happiness for her but also find it hard to be around. It’s like a huge reminder of what I don’t have and have missed out on.
I feel like life is so empty, yet it’s full at the same time. I don’t sleep well and feel sick a lot of the time. I’m so sad. I don’t know how to be ok anymore.