Advice for nursery or not

[midnighthour123]

Hi everyone,

I'm hoping for some advice to help put my perspective in the right place.

We have DD (7) & DS (3), DW is SAHM, I work FT.

DW is saying DS needs full time nursery and it must be done. She will stay at home, she can't find work (nothing around in her skillset locally, we're in the sticks). I'm a little bit worried about the extra cost. We have other cost things coming on the horizon. All costs, bills, holidays, stuff are on me.

In about 6 months or so we will move (hopefully).
We're in the sticks and will move to a city (more facilities and such)
DW might be able to find work.

For the timing being I rather DW helps soften the financial pressure by taking care of DS until the move is over and she's in a place where she could find work. (not said this yet). After this, I feel more comfortable DS going to FT nursery as DW has more chance to contribute towards it. (not all, just contribute).

I don't know what to do & don't want to be unkind.

Surely at 3 you will get the 15 hours free and if a preschool playgroup or school nursery is chosen it won’t cost anything.
You can phone the councils early years dept up for a list of providers

If he's 3 why not take advantage of the free hours for now as a compromise and tell her you're absolutely willing to look at full time when she's in work

When you're saying full time nursery do you mean a private nursery where you'll be paying for 8am-6pm 52 weeks per year or one attached to the school that is closer to school hours?

If it's a preschool attached to a school it may not be too expensive, especially with the funded hours.

Why does she feel the child needs full time? And as pp said, is that 15 hours or all day every day?
In normal circumstances I would go for the free 15 hours and that's plenty unless it is needed for childcare.

My partner is struggling at home with a toddler. We compromised by bumping up the 15 free hrs to 3 full days (9-3) which only costs about £15 a week (and which is all we can afford!)

I think that your wife is being lazy to be honest. I know I will get flamed.
I understand if she needs an occasional morning to herself but I've never heard of anyone using full time nursery when they don't work.

Why does she need him to go nursery all week when she doesn't work.

My husband pays for mortgage and all bills. I pay for childcare out of the money I earn. That seems fair to me.

Unless she's struggling with mental or physical health why would she need them to go to nursery? Even so why would it need to be full time?

I think at 3 your child will benefit from some nursery time. In England your free hours will start. I don't think full time hours have any additional benefit to the child, and are only needed to facilitate the parent working etc.

FWIW our children are entitled to 30 hours but we don't need it (we both work, but opposite days). We have chosen 15 hours, as we feel it's in their best interests. They get time at nursery and time with us at home/for days out.

Agree with ^^ The full time part doesn't seem necessary. Part time, yes - especially with the free hours. But it makes no sense to settle him into a nursery he's likely moving out of when you move house, or to shell out for full time if there's a parent not working.

Thank you for all your responses.
It has been extremely useful
I did not know about the free 15 hours at 3 yrs old and will pursue this as a middle point as most are suggesting.
Thanks so much everyone.

If you contact your local councils early years dept they will give you all the info you need