Is this okey in relationships? Please advice

[lifeisnoteasy]

Hi all
Us as a couple married for 10 years, spend most of the time together peacefully and cracks on silly jokes… we don’t argue on petty things and both show common interests and love each other…

His one thing though that bothers me massively is that he gets very open with woman and gets friendly … he does have male friends too. Caz of his nature, he develops friendships easily.

Problem doesn’t start there, issue is, on one incident, I saw his message stating love you n miss u to a woman friend and that does bug me, making it worst he even deleted such messages.

On confronting him, he argued that it was just said in a friendly manner as a gesture and he doesn’t hold any intentions and gave reason on deleting it that I get insecure and take it wrong.
Is this right ????

In the past past as well, he had good old long conversations to distant female friends (&male friends too), but I told him that this is not my cup of tea and he shud stop it which he even did…

On general basis I know where he is what he is doing everyday, he does love me and can go against anyone for me, even against his parents…

Another instance was where he mentioned that he just laid his head in someone’s lap few years back, she was a work colleague and it was again in just a friendly manner according to him…

He always argue when these things are brought up and always try to explain that this is his just nature and he doesn’t mean anything seriously towards woman…

I just want to know is this all ok in any relationship or this is crossing limits ????

The point is you aren’t ok with it
It doesn’t matter what everyone else thinks
However, for what it’s worth I wouldn’t be happy with it either

If he wouldn't do it in front of you and is hiding messages then no it isn't ok.

Seriously though, I feel that I love you and miss you are things you say to your kids and your partner, not other women.

It doesn't sound as if he cares how you feel about it though

How would he feel if you were texting "I love you'" to another man? How would he feel if you were laying in another man's lap?

What access do you have to his phone? I'd be going through it thoroughly. I know many will say that is intrusive, but that's how I found out that my first H was sleeping with my friend.

My first H was very much like this. No matter what arguments it caused, he just did not change. I left him after 20 years. I now have a lovely DH who would never behave like that, and I no longer have to worry.

@BlondeDogLady

How would he feel if you were texting "I love you'" to another man? How would he feel if you were laying in another man's lap?

What access do you have to his phone? I'd be going through it thoroughly. I know many will say that is intrusive, but that's how I found out that my first H was sleeping with my friend.

My first H was very much like this. No matter what arguments it caused, he just did not change. I left him after 20 years. I now have a lovely DH who would never behave like that, and I no longer have to worry.

Yup exactly