Is my jealousy unfounded?

[TheDog12]

So me and my partner have been together over a year and have a beautiful daughter born recently.

I have been experiencing pretty extreme jealousy over past events, I feel like they've always bothered me to some degree but have only recently taken a significant turn.

When we first met she told me she was interested from the very first chat but she still decided to sleep with someone else prior to developing a relationship with me.

She still wears her exs engagement ring, claiming that it's just because she liked it.

She always talks about her exs and what they did for her, how they provided for her and what they had to offer.

I was told that I need to speak to her about this but whenever I do she becomes defensive, tells me that I'm effecting her mood and that in turn effects her parenting.

She has an amazing personality and she does so much for me so I dont want to paint her as a monster because shes far from it but I just cant seem to move on from these things.

Is this a me problem?

Also this may be unimportant but whenever we argue she posts selfies on facebook and instagram and all the reactions are from single blokes that never react when she posts about us or our relationship. I may not be the case but I feel like shes trying to prove that she has options

Sounds a bit toxic OP. She shouldn't want to get a reaction from you or prove she has options. This is just game playing not really something you do with someone you love?

Sorry OP but I think it’s a ‘we got pregnant immediately so don’t actually really know one another’ problem.

Is your partner quite young? The posting selfies after arguments sounds quite immature.

Shes 32

You’re jealous and she’s a wind up. I can see this ending well…

I personally wouldn’t like it if my partner kept bringing up what their ex’s did for them. I would wonder what their motivation was. That, together with the posting selfies after argument, could potentially be a want to make you feel insecure. Are the ex boyfriends coming up in conversation naturally or is your partner randomly bringing them up?

Sounds like a problem with you not really knowing eachother. You sound insecure and she sounds like she likes winding you up.

Wearing an exs engagment ring, seems odd. But I know a few people who had their old engagment ring remodelled and wear it now.

Does she wear it on her left hand ring finger?

Sorry OP but I think it’s a ‘we got pregnant immediately so don’t actually really know one another’ problem.

Yes. Wrap up next time, OP.

It's a mixture of both sometimes it's natural but other times it feels quite forced but it always seems to lead to what they had or did.

When we first met she told me she was interested from the very first chat but she still decided to sleep with someone else prior to developing a relationship with me.

This is definitely a 'you' problem. Just because she was interested in you, didn't obligate her to be monogamous to you.

And if you knew this, it bothered you and you carried on regardless then you need to find a way to move on.

Very very immature. She posts selfies on Instagram when you have an argument? Jesus christ, that is teenage behaviour!!

I'd dump her for that alone. How embarrassing.

She is a wind up and she enjoys winding you up and playing with your emotions. Not a keeper. Move on now or get hurt, badly, then move on. X