Basically I live with an untrustworthy partner, we have been together 3 years and over time I have slowly realised that I am being lied to continually, sometimes about the most daft things but it's mainly concealment of information.
I feel sick because I love him so much yet I know deep down I cannot go on like this, this is no way to live my life feeling anxious and paranoid.
I know I am old to be on here I am in my early 60's so is he I had just come out of a horrendous 5 year marriage and subsequent divorce where I lost everything I ever worked for and I can't turn the clock back now.
I am in a position where I feel weak and don't want to be alone but yet I know feeling this way is wrong. I own my own house but my job looks like being redundant next year and my pension due to the divorce is awful.
I can't talk to him because the way I gain knowledge about these lies is reading emails which are left open (though he doesn't of course know I read them and yes -I know it's bad).
You see I have got used to being loved again and wanted and it's a great feeling that I don't want to give up but I am very insecure for obvious reasons. I don't think me stating how I feel would change him, he's just a habitual liar and I am beginning to wonder what is the truth and what isn't. Give you an example, He's met his son for tea I asked if he needed to make a booking he said no you just turn up, he'd already booked - just why not tell the truth about this it's very odd.
But I am scared to be alone, maybe it's because of my age and my financial situation and the fact I have no family only my DD I have lost my parents and sibling and the remainder of my family seems to have cut ties since I have been with this guy. I need to be strong but it's so hard and I feel drained to be able to even think about my or our future.