Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

This is no way to live my life

2 replies

Wilson532 · 09/12/2021 17:02

Basically I live with an untrustworthy partner, we have been together 3 years and over time I have slowly realised that I am being lied to continually, sometimes about the most daft things but it's mainly concealment of information.
I feel sick because I love him so much yet I know deep down I cannot go on like this, this is no way to live my life feeling anxious and paranoid.
I know I am old to be on here I am in my early 60's so is he I had just come out of a horrendous 5 year marriage and subsequent divorce where I lost everything I ever worked for and I can't turn the clock back now.
I am in a position where I feel weak and don't want to be alone but yet I know feeling this way is wrong. I own my own house but my job looks like being redundant next year and my pension due to the divorce is awful.
I can't talk to him because the way I gain knowledge about these lies is reading emails which are left open (though he doesn't of course know I read them and yes -I know it's bad).
You see I have got used to being loved again and wanted and it's a great feeling that I don't want to give up but I am very insecure for obvious reasons. I don't think me stating how I feel would change him, he's just a habitual liar and I am beginning to wonder what is the truth and what isn't. Give you an example, He's met his son for tea I asked if he needed to make a booking he said no you just turn up, he'd already booked - just why not tell the truth about this it's very odd.
But I am scared to be alone, maybe it's because of my age and my financial situation and the fact I have no family only my DD I have lost my parents and sibling and the remainder of my family seems to have cut ties since I have been with this guy. I need to be strong but it's so hard and I feel drained to be able to even think about my or our future.

OP posts:
AttilaTheMeerkat · 09/12/2021 17:16

It sounds like you went from one abusive sounding marriage into another abusive relationship.

It could be that you are confusing love here with codependency; his needs are not more important than yours.

Better to be on your own than to be so badly accompanied as you are now with this liar. This man is and will indeed continue to drag you down with him into his pit. He does not love or even respect you; he just sees you as some sap woman who is useful to him in providing for him. These types of men hate women; ALL of them.

How can you be helped into leaving this man?. I would suggest you contact Womens Aid; they can and will help you here. At the very least have a look at the Freedom Programme as this could be useful to you also.

Bananalanacake · 09/12/2021 18:28

Could you still see him but live separately. How long were you together when he moved in, was it his idea, is your home jointly owned.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread