Nice stories of someone coming back after they left you….

[PandaGate]

I know, I know. Probably clutching at straws. I met someone great and it ended in a strange way…said he couldn’t cope with a relationship and work stress and family stress. He said he wasn’t sure if it was right to end it but he did so I left. We were together a year.

I decided not to contact him. It’s been a few weeks and I’ve not heard from him. I don’t think I will but I've been dating and nobody matches up to him. Maybe I am deluded but I don’t think he will find someone to share what we had..he’d been single a long time before me and said I was the best relationship he’d ever had.

Guess I just want to hear of the nice stories of someone coming back…

Why would you want to be with someone who cannot cope with the basics of adult life?

I 'dumped' a casual guy 3 times because I couldn't cope with it being casual and couldn't cope not seeing him. It's 2 years and 2 weeks since I last saw him and I just hope I can stop counting soon.

This was not a functional or happy scenario.

My parents split when I was 7 and got divorced;they had only been married about 3.5 years at the time.

They got back together after about 18 months apart and got remarried;that was about 28 years ago;they went on to have my youngest brother who I adore.

OP, please don’t put your life on hold because of wishful thinking. You deserve better.

Put your boundaries in place, heal your heart. Then move on to something fresh.

@callygoballistic no but how sad that it's happened more than once

I have a happy ending but it only happened after I had totally, 100% got over him. We were together for 2 years, separated because I wanted commitment and he couldn’t give it. It took well over a year for my broken heart to mend! During which time I kissed a lot of frogs! Turned out so did he and we met up again after 3 years of being apart. One thing led to another and we have been happily married for years, with a bunch of kids.
I don’t think the relationship would have worked the second time if I had still been in thrall to him though, so I would say - move on, heal yourself and if it happens, it happens.
Good luck op! You will feel better and stronger as time goes past and then I’m sure you’ll meet someone else who rocks your boat xx

My ex came back once he discovered that Miss Fanny Pelmet was barking mad. I told him to fuck off. The end.

My mum left my dad when I was 7. They had been married for about 15 years at that point. She had met someone else. The someone else then dumped her. She went back to dad. They were together for the rest of their lives. No unfaithfulness. No nastiness of which I was aware. Dad must have had quite the capacity for forgiveness. They ended up being the love of each other's lives and almost made it to their fiftieth wedding anniversary - dad died the year before. Mum didn't ever really recover from his death. She died a few years later. Her last words to me were " it's all going to be ok. I get to be with Dad now".

I bored everybody with my hope that somebody I thought was the love of my life would "come back". The uplifting bit is that he did turn up again a year or so later but I'd already met my husband who was and is a better man in every way and is truly the love of my life.

I had one who was forever dumping me then coming back. Eventually he dumped me in such a brutal and humiliating fashion that I realised it I had to call time on the whole shit-show, or go totally insane. So I hopped onto Tinder and met someone else. Of course, then the ex came crawling back yet again. This time with a proposal of marriage, no less. I said no. I’m engaged to the new one instead - he’s not perfect (nobody is), but he is the love of my life. The ex one was a total bell-end….. So pleased I finally got to the point where I could see this. May it happen for you too, OP. Xx

Unless there was something traumatic that happened such as a death or mental illness, anyone who leaves a partner is usually being unfaithful and if they come back its because the affair is over and they need a roof over their head.

8 months after the breakdown of our marriage, my husband asked me out for dinner (without DS) to talk about us getting back together.

I told him that after everything that had happened, I would never be with him again. He was shocked.

Is that the sort of thing you were looking for @PandaGate?

I went back to a guy I had left...however it was 5 years later.

We were together the second time around for 4 years. I loved (love) him so much. Sadly the differences between us were just too wide. The things that hadnt worked the first time around still didn't work thr second time around. It was really sad. On a human level we were perfect for one another. But we were just too different. The things we wanted from life were in direct opposition. It was impossible to keep the relationship without one of us being completely out of step with our own individual desires. It took me a long time to let go.

So yes people can come back but you need to ask yourself why you parted ways and whether the core issue is actually fixable.

Have you read Persuasion? One of my favourite books...

My neighbour is a widow now (in her 90s). When I met her she was in her 70s and had been married about 5 years, madly in love, and inseparable from her lovely husband.

They were childhood sweethearts; he had proposed (back in the 1950s), and she had turned him down. Both married other people, had kids and long lives apart. After his wife had been dead for a few years he went looking for his old girlfriend, found she had also lost her husband, so they ended up together and very happily married for 15-20 years.

Some of these are so nice to read!

I’ve been dating lots and nobody comes close to him. I’m not sure why I’m not tempted to message him. I don’t want to do that but I do miss him desperately.

We ended because he couldn’t commit properly and progress the relationship, he got very dressed and overwhelmed. I was his first ‘real’ adult relationship. I am almost 100pc sure there was no cheating. I don’t think it was that.

I keep hoping he will get in touch and want to meet. Losing him made me so sad. We are not kids though and I will do all I can to move on and find someone else. I just really thought he was my one.