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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

A little bit lost & lonely

2 replies

cheekycracker80 · 08/12/2021 21:22

So I don’t know where else to turn really, I split with my husband a year ago, he was cheating, he left the home to move in with new GF, I do feel an odd sense of relief, he put me through a lot including domestic violence & making me feel like crap about myself & my abilities as a mum & wife.

But now I’m on my own with my kids I just feel a little lost, when they go to their dads I have nobody, I just sit in my bed or clean up & have a drink, I have only a few friends due to my exH & his controlling behaviour, but the friends I have do have partners so they don’t go out much, I go to bed most nights & just cry myself to sleep because I would like someone by my side eventually, someone to come home to me, make memories with & to actually hope I’m not that repulsive to the opposite sex.

Tried online dating no luck, got a new job in the hope of building up my confidence but I hate it, I’m the newbie always being pulled up on mistakes I’ve made so that brings my confidence down even more, everyone seems so pally as well & I’m left out.

My children say I don’t need a man, no I don’t need a man but would be nice have spend my free time with someone instead of being lonely & they don’t seem to understand that at all & when hear people at work talking about their partners it makes me feel even more left out!

OP posts:
MMMarmite · 08/12/2021 21:26

You need some more friends! Sounds like this is the perfect time :) Are your kids at their dad's on a regular schedule? Find a regular activity those nights/days to meet people in a relaxed way.

Hollandays · 09/12/2021 07:22

Sorry to hear you’re feeling this way. Agree with pp about making new friends.
How old are your children? Often possible to strike up new friendships via school/clubs.
Online dating can be luck of the draw and you may have to be patient .. easier said than done I know. In the meantime - perhaps look at hobbies/clubs just for you to get you out and socialising

If it’s any consolation I’m a LP and have been single for 6 years; hardly have any friends and have a similar work situation to you. It’s hard … I do get it.

Maybe start by planning your time while the children are with their dad. I find if I don’t plan ahead I end up just doing housework and feeling rubbish and lonely. Even a solo shopping/garden centre trip and treat yourself to a coffee somewhere nice.

Please keep posting and sharing 💐

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