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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Another cheating one

28 replies

FuckingCheatingWanker · 08/12/2021 20:44

I am so incredibly angry. I had a niggle that something wasn't quite right from last Christmas. My exDP was away with work and was staying in a hotel. I logged on to his justeat app to order food a few months later and clicked on that order out of curiosity as he'd told me over FaceTime that he hadn't eaten as he was so busy. It was 2 very different meals.

Anyway it's all come to a head over the past 2 days that the fucking arsehole has been cheating with women from a fucking dating site every time he stayed in this hotel.

There was me sitting at home thinking he was lonely and bored in these boring hotel rooms, when actually he was having a right ole time.

Honestly, I'm so fucking angry I can't stop shaking. A lady messaged me to tell me and sure enough all the dates and times add up. He's denying it and generally following the script...I've thrown his arse out and don't give a flying fuck where he goes Angry please help me keep hold of this anger

OP posts:
Jk24 · 08/12/2021 21:01

So sorry op what a bastard. You don't want him back! How disrespectful hes been to you! Please get an sti test Flowers

me4real · 08/12/2021 21:03

So sorry to hear that @FuckingCheatingWanker . Sad Well done for throwing him out- stay strong. x

MsDogLady · 08/12/2021 21:25

This is terrible, OP. You trusted him implicitly, but he trashed your relationship and risked your health for sleazy sex. He is continuing to treat you with contempt by lying through his teeth.

You’ve absolutely done the right thing by kicking him out. Your anger will help you move through the grieving process.

Do you have supportive family/friends? Flowers

FuckingCheatingWanker · 08/12/2021 21:35

Yes, I have a supportive family and everyone is shocked - I've had my world turned upside down and hate him for it.

OP posts:
B2TN · 08/12/2021 23:21

Glad you kicked him out you deserve better. Stay strong!

MsDogLady · 08/12/2021 23:22

I’m glad you are surrounded by love and support.

How long were you together? If he could do this, I would assume it’s the tip of the iceberg.

Be prepared for him to soon attempt to hoover/manipulate you.

MollysDolly · 08/12/2021 23:23

What a vile man. And you need a health check.

You won't need us to help you stay angry, what a pig.

Heroic · 09/12/2021 07:14

I will pm you, we can rant together!

FuckingCheatingWanker · 09/12/2021 07:21

Only together for 2 years and thought we were forever - ill stay strong, any attempts at hoovering will be ignored

OP posts:
Bookworm20 · 09/12/2021 09:35

God, what a pig.

Well done for chucking him straight out.
Stay strong and ignore any hoovering attempts most definitely.
I'm glad you have supportive family around you. You certainly do not need a crappy excuse for a man like this in your life.

NovemberNovemberDarkNights · 09/12/2021 09:45

Well done for kicking him out & for telling people - many women don't & the guy gets to keep his 'good guy' status & they don't get the support they deserve.

You do need (as others have said) to book an STI test. The indignity of that should keep you angry for a while, but say again if you need the fire reignited. I'm sure we can help!

So have you bagged up all his stuff (bin bags are more than good enough)!?

Do you know where his parents live? If it's local I highly recommend dumping his shot there, quite satisfying! If not tell him they're on the doorstep, so if he wants it, collect it before bin day!

Have no mercy, he didn't when he was doing the 'poor old me in a shit hotel' while fucking god knows who.

2 years feels like ages & breaks your heart for 'future plans you had' BUT it's a blip in a lifetime. TRY to move on quickly rather than wallow, as that only wastes your life, not his!!

(By move on, I mean make plans for YOU! Friends/family/decorate the house (if you can) if you can't rearrange it to feel like YOURS. Or if you have to move without his income, find a place YOU love xx

bluebells34 · 09/12/2021 12:55

It is the lies, deceipt and sordidness that is the hardest thing to get over. You have every right to feel angry but the best thing you can do with a cheating scum bag is keep your dignity - hold your head up high and never contact him again -not even for an agry rant.

bebarkered · 09/12/2021 15:26

What a fucking idiot, big, stupid, twat-face tool he is! Hate these kinda blokes that will risk everything just to get their dick wet.
Good luck to you love, you've got your family, your friends, and, you've got us xxx

DerbyshireMama · 09/12/2021 15:28

FUCK THAT GUY 🖕🖕🖕

Aquamarine1029 · 09/12/2021 15:32

Never, ever communicate with this lowlife again. You will get through this.

Yummypumpkin · 09/12/2021 15:34

Happened to a friend. One year on she's with a new man she adores. Ex is single, living in a grotty flat and eaten up with jealousy.

FuckingCheatingWanker · 09/12/2021 16:01

Honestly, we had an amazing life with a couple of kids and pets. The lady he cheated with is disgusted as she genuinely thought he was single.

Bin bags are too good for his stuff but he's very clever so I need (with gritted teeth) to not trash his stuff as I know he'll take it further and I'll be done for criminal damage.

Whoever said upthread that's he the deceit and the lying is right but I knew in my heart something wasn't right. Thank GIs I listened to my spidey senses as they were screaming at me

OP posts:
Dillydollydingdong · 09/12/2021 16:07

Put his stuff in a bin bag and leave it in the shed, outside the door, or whatever's appropriate.

ravenmum · 09/12/2021 16:17

Ugh, he certainly thinks he's clever, doesn't he, coming up with that scheme?
Good for you and this woman for showing him who's got their heads screwed on properly.

Pleaseaddcaffine · 09/12/2021 16:22

I kicked mine out in June and I'm now dating someone who fingers crossed seems wonderful and genuine.
It will get better but I would have an sti chevk, I did.

hazelgrey · 09/12/2021 16:24

Good for you OP

Stay strong and surround your self with good people chocolate and wine

AllTheUsernamesAreAlreadyTaken · 09/12/2021 16:27

Stay strong and ride it out. You’ll get through it and be better for it too! X

FuckingCheatingWanker · 09/12/2021 17:04

Thank you everyone for your kind words - I've wasted 2 fucking years on this arsehole. Just before bloody Christmas too - at least I can send his Christmas present back

OP posts:
Queenie6655 · 09/12/2021 17:08

So sorry
Evil bas

EasyGoing80 · 09/12/2021 17:37

Isn’t a woman’s gut instinct a really weird thing?! It’s always right but we sound mad at the mere mention of it.

OP this happened to me after a 17 year relationship. What fools men are.