I’ve had LOTS of therapy. I go for men where there’s a chase and I’m ‘earning’ their affection. It’s been talked about for years yet I can’t change. I’ve had various therapists too and tried various things.
I recently met someone who looks no better or worse than any of my exs. We’ve only been out three times but each time he’s planned the date, made it quite nice (last time he booked a museum tour that was really interesting and right up my street). He’s chatty and responsive in messages but not overbearing. The second date I noticed he had a sense of humour that I’d not seen much of in date one.
On the third date he drove me home and tried to move to hold my hand in the car. I completely shut it down as I felt awkward. I would never have done this with any man who has been a bit more evasive or unpredictable. On paper this man is just like the others too so there’s no difference in intellect or job etc… I can’t understand why I am once again feeling so unwilling to move things forward with a decent man?
I’m late 30s and desperately want to settle down and I never will if I can’t get past this. Can anyone help?