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Relationships

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Dateless..

9 replies

Tiredbear1011 · 08/12/2021 00:18

Hey everyone :) new here really so haven't got the lingo yet lol!

Anywho.. I met the love of my life almost 2yrs ago and lockdown happened so we've lived dateless almost our whole relationship but now places are open I want to do things with him like the cinema, maybe a meal or something (I'm still kinda nervous about crowded places but isolation is driving me mental) I have explained this to my other half and he said it's mostly the money as to why we haven't (I've been on a low income as I'm employed but I don't get paid unless I work shifts and childcare + employer isn't school hour friendly) he has been on a steady wage throughout, I have no right or say in what he does with his money until we're living together when we plan to get a joint account and that works both ways. I can afford the odd £20 on a date though which again I have explained, this evening he calls to say that he's going to the cinema with his dad, I think it's beautiful he spends time like that with his parents so I don't begrudge that but he's been out for meals and such too (we live an hour apart and I have a 8 year old son) not too often but I can't help but be frustrated about it. I've got really low self-esteem at the moment so trying not ride that wave.

Can I ask what you would do? Do you think I'm being over emotional or do I need to explain anything further?
Sorry for the waffle and thank you 🖤

OP posts:
scoobydoo1971 · 08/12/2021 00:31

Sorry to say but he is not the love of your life. You are on different pages. He is happy to see family, perhaps because they pay for his meals, tickets and so on. He is not happy to accommodate your wishes for a date night. This doesn't bode well for a long term relationship, which requires give and take. You are a convenient lady friend to him. If you want to test the relationship, stop seeing him at your home or his. Make plans to go for a coffee or a beer in a pub or cafe. You can wear masks and take the usual pandemic precautions. If he refuses to join you, then he shows you who he is. The fact he is not prepared to pay for a few drinks for you, in your present financial circumstances, shows him to be a tight-wad. Mean people are very unattractive partners. Low self esteem or not...single life is not so bad!!

Bathmat1 · 08/12/2021 00:35

'now places are open'? They've been open on and off for the best part of 18 months. Sorry op, move on. What a waste of your time

Inthesameboatatmo · 08/12/2021 08:30

He is not on the same page as you hun. He's checked out a fair time ago I would think .
Places have been open ages now and if he really wanted to see you after this amount of time together why couldn't you just meet for a coffee or go to each others houses?.
Don't waste anymore time on this move on .

Coldenoughforyou · 08/12/2021 08:33

You could pay your way for the cinema or he could treat you from time to time. Sounds stingy and lazy I’m afraid. Things have been open long enough to get out there and do something.

HollowTalk · 08/12/2021 08:36

So does he basically just come round to your house for the evening and sleep with you? Do you cook for him?

NynaeveSedai · 08/12/2021 08:39

Restaurants and pubs opened in summer 2020. How have you not been dating for 18 months?
How is he the love of your life when he won't take you to the cinema knowing you can't afford it??

SengaSox · 08/12/2021 09:14

This reply has been withdrawn

Message from MNHQ: This post has been withdrawn

SilkLabrador · 08/12/2021 09:15

He sounds a bit rubbish.

bluebells34 · 08/12/2021 10:11

Do you enjoy his company? does he suggest to do other things with you like going for a country walk ? Does he talk about any future plans?
It is dificult after the lock down - a lot of people just do not want to go out and socialise anymore - I live opposite a pub and have noticed how quiet it is compared to before covid but part of being in a relationship is making memories and I am guessing staying in and watching the TV is not going to make many memories

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