Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I've been horrid.

5 replies

showmewhatyougot · 07/12/2021 18:54

Name changed. I'm so confused with my life atm.

Been with my kids dad for 13+ years. We have 2 younger children (6 & 1)
We don't have any huge issues, I think we might have drifted apart as we were together from a very young age.

He has never been overly affectionate, we don't lust after each other and we can go months without sex.

He was pretty inconsiderate when both children were born. With My first I was in hospital for 5 days no sleep, with a 3rd degree tear, he made me cook dinner when I got home and wouldn't help because he was tired.

and I don't think I have forgiven him, even though it has been many years.

About a month ago I started talking with a guy who lives thousands of miles away, we grew feelings and began an online affair.

My OH found out last week. And has taken it surprisingly well. I feel horrid and guilty, and ended things with the online guy. But I miss him now, and I'm wondering if things can ever truly go back to normal or get better.

OP posts:
Jk24 · 07/12/2021 21:53

Bumping op

ElleGettingBetter · 07/12/2021 22:29

What do you want next OP?

Do you really want to fix your marriage? Is your husband committed to really working on it too? Or do you think you would be happier seperating?

bluebells34 · 08/12/2021 10:39

Sounds like you have grown apart and seeking someone that you can engage with for emotional support. I would seriously think about wether you want to part - can you face the next 2 years, 5 years 10 years with him?

HailAdrian · 08/12/2021 11:00

Maybe your partner took it well because he doesn't care that much? From what you've said, it kind of sounds as though the relationship is dead.

disneybee · 08/12/2021 22:52

I feel like i get where you are coming from... Relationship sounds similar to mine and my DH's... I can't get past a level of resentment that i have for the way DH behaved when i was pregnant /postnatal... He didn't mean to be horrible, he was just more selfish and inconsiderate than i realised... 6 years and 2 kids later and i can't shift the resentment, i've stopped making any effort and the only joy we get in our relationship is enjoying watching telly (while sitting on different sofas!) once the kids are in bed and asleep!

Can't figure out whether things between us have just completely fizzled out, or is it just a difficult time, because we have young kids and are knackered? It must be worse for you with a 1yo...

Do you ever get any time to yourselves as a couple away from the house and normal domestic life?

New posts on this thread. Refresh page