Three dc, young adults who live at home. None of them have had a real relationship yet.
Say you've been on a few dates with someone, you enjoy the night and want to maybe go back home for a couple of drinks, nothing untoward, just want to chat a bit longer, without other people around.
But the dc, who normally take themselves off to bed at around 10.30 are all still up, in the lounge.
Now I like this, that they dont live in their rooms and we spend time together. I rarely have a date so it probably wouldn't occur to them I may want a bit of privacy now and again, i'm just mum. I brought a date back recently and despite me telling them I was on the way back at 11.00, they didn't take the hint and were all lined up on the sofas when we got in. He seemed really intimidated and uncomfortable and got the wrong impression, that I was introducing him to my kids, so therefore I must be serious too soon and he ran a mile.
It's their home, they will always come first, they're late teens/young adults and I can't tell them what to do but I need a bit of privacy also. Apart from what obviously might happen at some point, noone wants to have a "get to know you" conversation in front of a date's dc. I did wonder if they'd done it on purpose and waited up to check him out, which I can understand, but, it isn't the right way to go about it.
So what do I do? How do I explain the privacy thing to them without them feeling like they are restricted in their own home? I feel like a terrible mum but it's not selfish for me to want a relationship.