Why do i ALWAYS say the wrong thing?

[RudolphtheredROSEreindeer]

:Ast few days with dp...i mention wanting to crack on with house in new year..i get my head bitten off as 'its not as easy as that, you have to organise tradesmen, get quotes, get work done cause mess'..blah blah..all of which I would do!...

i say i would like to concentrate on bathroom in new year as we have dodgy taps which will need sorting sometime soon anyway..this time, im rushing ahead of myself we need wardrobes and to finish hall off first and that will take ages..blah blah

now last night, found hol that we tried to book few months back but price went up..price has NOW come back down, dp first reaction "Woohoo"..next reaction, 'hmm, do we really want to go or just because its cheap, should we spend a bit more and go somewhere posher?'!, then oh well were not going to get many jobs done if we go there, wed be better going to majorca or somewhere cheaper(this hol is far cheaper than anything in majorca weve seen!?)

then tonight, dp looked into new tyre as ours is wearing down, tells me price, im surprised, he says we should get two!, both sides..then he says other garage charge xx(lot more) for this tyre, so when i ask how they can do it cheaper, i get told to ring them my bloody self and sort it out!????????????????????????????

am i missing something??

i know its all about money, but thankfully at moment we're not skint and can afford to do bits at a time, but it seems whenever I have got an opinion or something to say its wrong, im getting ahead of myself, he doesnt want to think about that just yet??!!!WTF!..am i a little kid with no entitlement to poinion on what we do in OUR house????

am very and and tearful as time of month and i feel like i might as well just shut up and not bother!

ok then im going down now for the next round, anyone want to advise ill check back tomorrow, thanks

(((hugs)))

thanks Kim

sounds like he's a bit of a control freak. you come up with valid ideas and suggestions and he's constantly finding a way to disagree for the sake of it (well that's what it sounds like anyway)

not surprised you're and

could you get some time out alone with him and have a good talk about all of these things? not in a confrontational way, but more to try and explain how he is making you feel.

the only way to really deal with it is to talk talk talk.

but when everyday life/work/children/bills etc get in the way it can be hard to have that quality time together to talk.
perhaps there is more going on in his head than you realise too - and that's why he's feeling the need to control everything.

I hope things can get better for you. Does sound awful at the moment.

{{{hugs}}}

it's not about money, it's about power. he wants to call the shots. he wants to be in control. just like baffy says

sometimes people need reminding that working as a team produces better results instead of fighting you the whole time.

I can sympathise. And it's all very well when people tell you that you need to talk. How can you talk when you get your head bitten off everytime you open your mouth?

Do you think he really means it in a nasty way or are you just 'hearing' it that way. I know that at my time of the month i seem to get very cross and even confused and overwhelmed by anything and everything!

My H tends to get ahead of himself with making plans to do this, start something oh and book holidays all without really thinking it through properly. I find this frustating as we seem to always be rushing ahead with the next project - but at least it gets things done.

Try and see it as his caucious side not wanting to make mistakes. Is he a bit stressed at the moment too (and who isnt?)

I must admit i cannot even think about next years decorating until we have at least this week out of the way!! and we have loads to do as we moved last year.

Anyway good luck hope you feel better soon.

thankyou everyone, you all could be right.
Normally he is not a controlling person, but maybe (he thinks like you Happywoman) he's worried about getting one thing done first(ie christmas) then concentrating on next!
and Yes i prob am taking it too sensitivly, but i seem to get more fire in my belly this time of month were as normlly id sit back and say Oh okay!

Dragonstitcher, i know what you mean, things do need to be said but its so hard saying them, we need time out of the norm to talk!, we are out saturday night, but with group of friends?, maybe things will be said through them, i find this often happens we all make conversation about a prob we have so its not directed at me/him?

may its me and i feel a bit invisible myself at minute, maybe not him at all and im just taking ti that way..i like to discuss future projects he has to get 'this' one over with first..just seems worse at minute?!