I am here again and don’t think I can drag myself out of it again

[Lettersorpies]

In September last year I was sat in my car in tears feeling very very alone after an awful relationship had ended at the start of the year. It took A LOT of strength as I was at rock bottom but I pulled myself together, exercised, therapy, got promoted, put effort into online dating and met someone a few months later (in December).

We fell in love (or so he said!) and by July we were talking about a future. We are both late 30s. By October it had all ended, he took a job abroad for half the week and didn’t tell me. When I tried to discuss it he was vague and seemed annoyed I had questioned why he hadn’t told me. I didn’t care he wanted to be abroad half the week but I cared he hadn’t even mentioned this to me.

So here I am, in the same situation I was in last year in September, except now I’m 37. I will be 38 in May. I don’t think I have the strength to pick myself up again and get back out there. I don’t want a family alone (I know people do it) and so I have to accept that this is probably it for me.

I don’t know how to get out of this pit and put a smile on my face again over Christmas. Last Christmas I had to do this. It was horrible and hard. I never thought I would be so lucky as to have met someone like my ex but it’s all come crashing down. And here I am again.

Had a similar experience Christmas 2014 at thought I’d meet lovely new man after several relationships fails. Remember thinking I really don’t want to do Christmas this year. Just keep on going it will improve.
Try and focus on the future as you will definitely not feel like this fit ever. Hugs though I remember how tough it was.

@Anxiety46 did things get better?

I can’t even begin to explain how hopeless everything feels. I met him and thought ‘the shit that came before was worth it to have met him.’ I loved him so much. Still do. It’s definitely over and I just can’t believe it’s happened again.

You put all your eggs in one basket!
There are always going to be breakages!

Stop thinking every relationship is the one.
Relax.

@NeedsCharging I’m nearly 38, I was hoping something might last

I didn't meet the man I could consider being with until 42..I am 44 and still not sure

Don't settle just because you think you should.
When my marriage ended I assumed I was done relationship wise. Too old and fat.
Truth is I just choose better.
My standards are higher.
That's not a bad thing.

Hi yes things did get better ! It took a while I let myself grieve through it. Lots of self care is what you need ! . I read, started slowly to exercise, even just making new plans. I talked to lots of single women who I thought were strong and seemed to be thriving. Hugs 🤗 though I know it’s shit at the time !