AITA?

[Greenfrog777]

For a bit of background: I lent $2k to my ex when we were together and we both agreed that they'll pay me back. Broke up with them 4 months ago and recently messaged them to ask to return the money. They said that they won't as it was a gift. I have screenshots proving that it wasn't. I have told them that if they won't return I will talk to lawyers. I messaged ex's sister to ask the sister to speak to my ex and hopefully help them see that they are in the wrong. Sister offered to pay for my ex instead, I said no. I feel like it's my ex that needs to own up to them selves. That's not how you treat people. Since talking to the sister of the ex, I get a message from the ex saying that his dad has been very upset about it and is experiencing auditory hallucinations bc of me. Bc I am demanding my ex to pay me back. The money was lent to them 5 months before the breakup. It's been now total of 8 months since I lent the money and not a cent has been returned.

I feel bad for the dad but I feel like if the ex has saved up little by little, then this wouldn't be happening. AITA?

TLDR: ex owes money, refusing to pay back. Ex's dad is having auditory hallucinations bc of stress knowing that their child (ex) owes me $. I am thinking about going to see a lawyer and start a small claims lodgement.

I wouldn't believe the ex that any issues with the dad are anything to do with you and your loan. As if!

Accept the money from your ex’s sister and move on.

I wonder how often his sister has had to bail him out? Nope, not your fault and he would find other reasons not to pay if that one wasn't available.

If the sister has offered to pay you back, accept it and move on. You have separated, it is no longer your place to dig your hells in to make a point about your ex being shit.

Take the money (from the sister) and run

(I do feel sorry for her, clearly she has a very difficult family, but what’s important for you is to move on from the ex and this debt is holding you back from doing that. Ergo, let the sister pay the debt, you are free to move on.)

@JustThisLastLittleBit I also feel sorry for her. It's not fair on his sister to bail him. I didn't accept her money considering how his sister is also the carer for their dad who's sick (mental health). I just feel like HE needs to own up to himself.

He does need to do that, absolutely, but his moral health is not your concern, the money is. You can sort that concern by accepting his sister’s offer. If you don’t do that and choose to pursue him for the money, you are bogging yourself down for a period of time, unnecessarily. I totally understand why you want to do that, but be honest with yourself about what you are doing and why. Good luck.

Their family dynamic is no longer your business. Nor is it your responsibility to decide whether he should "own up to" to anything, not any more. Take the money and leave the family to their own devices.

You don't need a solicitor and I wouldnt be accepting the sisters money either.

Just lodge a small claims and sue him, if you have proof

What does AITA mean?

AITA = Am I the Asshole

There are two things here, the money that can be solved by the sister or going through small claims. You don't need a solicitor.

Im wondering if you would see the payment back from them as some form of acknowledgment of how they treated you and that it would make amends for how you felt in the relationship. I could be wrong but I doubt even if they paid it still wouldn't feel complete.