Marriage failing

[Tea3]

First Post long time lurker,

Looking for some advice...with my husband 14 years married 4 years 2 kids both with different special needs great kids but very hard work.
I just feel very unsupported like I'm doing it all alone, and constant criticism from DH I feel I can't do anything right. He just wakes ups up leaves goes to work comes home naps etc...I wake up get all lunches clean house work part time but straight into getting kids fed sorted after school, our youngest barley sleeps I settle him every night. Husband feels so disconnected to us almost annoyed if we bother him.
Anytime I try to bring up how I'm struggling it's always me who's the problem and how unhappy he is ...I don't understands how he can be so happy when I feel I'm doing everything running on empty. He says I paint him as the villian and its unfair on him putting up with my low mood when I feel I'm so down as I'm the one doing everything solo while he points out what I'm doing wrong. I think about asking him to leave but worried I won't cope alone. Sorry not sure what I'm asking just so fed up and feeling so alone.

Was he always this way, or has something changed to make him like this? Has he ever had the kids on his own to see how hard and busy it is? Why do you think you won't cope, as you sound like you're doing it all now anyway! Do you mean financially?

He's a knob. Of course you'll cope. You're coping very well right now.
What are you doing over Christmas?

@13yearslater

He's a knob. Of course you'll cope. You're coping very well right now. What are you doing over Christmas?

You sound quite anti male..lol.

Imo, if one partner isnt working or works part-time then its fair that a greater responsibility of household and child chores fall on them. If you both work full time, the. It should be split 50/50.

In your current scenario, as long as he is paying the lions share of the bills, is reliable, not a drunk/smoker/cheater/abuser, and loves you...what more do you want...?

It all sounds so tedious OP. Has he always been like this?

I think you would manage on your own; besides which you're doing it now.

Do you receive any form of respite for your children?.

What is your selfish sounding husband bringing into this relationship other than a thinly veiled criticism of your efforts?. These are not the actions of a loving and supportive husband towards you and his children. Between his work and napping post work he sounds like he has opted out of family life because its too "hard" for him the poor thing.

Better to be alone than to be so badly accompanied.

Ignore Shalala and have higher standards OP! How is he showing you love if he doesn't care when you are at breaking point? You are coping fine doing 100% now so you can do it apart from him. He can either take the kids 50% of the time so you will get a break or he can continue to opt out and pay full child support.

Is this really all we expect from the men in our lives?

Thank you so much taking the time to reply,

No I don't get any respite from my children my husband would mange fine when I go out to see friends but complain alot about their behaviour he wouldn't be happy about it.
He always gets in a mood before I go out almost spoils it for me as I wouldn't go out often.
It's hard to explain but we could be fine then as soon as I express how I feel he gets very annoyed and dismisses my feelings and starts pointing out all my faults that's its just not worth trying to communicate with him.