I want to support my children through divorce. They are teens but one especially seems very conflicted and confused. XH left home three months ago once I applied for the divorce. The children have some nice memories of their father. He was/is very generous and would spend loads on them (even going without if needed), take them places, laugh and play with them when younger. But when he's in a mood he'll blank them, never does any normal parent stuff (only Disney) and has on occasion been emotionally and physically abusive. So obviously some terrible memories too. By the end they were practically begging me to divorce him.
I was wondering how I could support them and be understanding of their feelings for him. My youngest, confused child (I'll call her CC for short) wanted to go on holiday with him much to my shock. There is no way I'd want her to do that as she could be somewhere far away without a way to get away from him if something went wrong (and things ALWAYS go wrong with him when we go away somewhere, it's a 100% hit rate). I had to gently dissuade CC from going and tell her that she can go out with him for the day as often as she liked. This way she can call me and I'll be close by if I need to get her. Other times she seems completely off him and won't answer calls etc. I'm reluctant to tell her not to see him at all, even though I'm well aware that it's probably best.
I don't want her to think, either now or later, that she could have had a great relationship with him but I stopped her. So how do I handle things when he's neither a goodie nor baddie in her head.