How old was your child when they went no contact with their father?

[Secretminty0]

I am being gender specific, i am well aware there are children who go no contact with their mothers too.
How old was your child, what reason and was there a court order or not?

My DC was 12 urs old when they decided to no longer see his dad.

About 8 years now.

People may think there must have been a sinister reason for me not wanting contact but there wasn’t - I just never liked him or took to him even as a little girl. He was an embarrassment.

@WeeTattieBogle if it's OK to ask how was he an embarrassment and how did it lead to you thinking of cutting contact? I only ask because I have a similar situation I know of.

Her father was never around, he used to leave us for days on end where there had been an altercation. My daughter has been subject to and witness to abuse. So, yes.. She doesn't want to see him.
I've taken her to a contact centre and she's been screaming after been taken from me, they've had to end sessions early because she wants to leave.

@Pickles89

He’s abusive so I won’t force her, but I do encourage her.

Why would you encourage your daughter to have contact with an abusive man? Surely it's better to respect her decision to avoid him, even support her in it? Isn't it a good thing to teach her to know her own mind and not be swayed but wanting to please others, even if it's at a detriment to herself?

Because I don’t want her to look back and think that I just let her decide when she was 7/8/9 which in theory is too young for her to have decided. She’s 12 now so she’s old enough to make up her own mind. I never want her to think I stopped her; nor that I forced her.

He has taken me to various mediators / psychotherapists/ counsellors over the years and the mediator actually said I had to force her. The psychotherapist realised what he was like and said no contact and phoned to make sure I was safe. The Counsellor wrote to him and my Dr and told him the same thing (as my daughter told her she didn’t want to see him).

There’s a lot of difference between a 7 year old saying they didn’t want to see him and an almost teenager.