Hi everyone,
I just wanted some other opinions on what has been going on in my and my wife's relationship recently. I'm actually too embarrassed by the whole thing to speak to my friends about it - but maybe I shouldn't be?
So my wife has a very close guy friend - who is gay - and is also the godfather to our eldest daughter. Anyway, I found out last summer that they had hooked up (3rd base) about six months before while drunk going for a hike. I was told this the morning of the day he was arriving in our city to meet up with her. After a lot of venting and being very upset, I agreed my wife could see him (I didn't want to break up one of her closest friendships) - but make sure this would never happen again. I should say we were in an open relationship at the time but with the one rule of not getting with friends. Our "open relationship" is more theoretical - neither of us have ever actually taken advantage of it (with this exception).
Now my wife is flying to a city (with our youngest daughter) where she will meet up with him. She says she told me before (but I definitely didn't hear or register it) that she is staying in a hotel with him. To be fair, I really don't believe they will do anything - and it is a hugely practical arrangement. But I find it such an affront that this plan was even made (and perhaps mentioned in passing) - without a second thought.
There's a third part to all this which I find very unsettling. I even tell her it makes me feel like I'm in a Greek tragedy! Throughout all of this time, she has said she is open to the idea of being a surrogate to this guy's child. It's been something she has half-jokingly said to him since they were at uni but has become increasingly serious. She loves the idea of being a surrogate mother (of course I think that's admirable), and cannot see how it would be really weird for me (or herself). Personally, I would find it hard enough being essentially a stepfather to any close friend's child - but for it to be with someone who has disrespected our relationship like this I find unconscionable.
Please let me know your thoughts! Am I just being a bit jealous/neurotic?
Thanks x