To all of you who have been thru' it , are the toddler/baby years the hardest bit...?

[twofishes]

Now we have 3 kids under 5 yrs all we seem to do is fight about ££,sleep, whos to go to for Xmas and work and spend time battling from one drama to another whilst trying to deal with the everyday stuff too...so does it get better when the DC's are all older or is it just us?
Recently seem to have witnessed a lot of retired couples who seem to not really like each other and am thinking 'is this what happens?'..or is there a plateau when everything kind of clicks into place?
Feeling deep and meaningful today due to lack of chocolate anything in the house!!

hi twofishes, thats a hard one

mine are 6 and 9 and I don't find it getting easier, due to 6 yr old being a bad bad sleeper, having no help whatsoever and trying to find a job that will work round the school schedule and an old mum to look after

I guess it will get easier if you have a bit of family help nearby, 3 under 5 must be difficult, but 3 under 10 might be a bit easier as they grow!

sorry for rambling (go get some chocolate!!) if I lived near you I'd pop some thru the letterbox!!

Yes there is light at the end of the tunnel! Looking back I have no idea how I managed in the early years with two under 3, one of whom was brain damaged and working 25 hours a week as a lawyer with dh working away all week....

These days it's much much easier and we don't hate each otehr any more!

Stick with it, it will all get easier in time.

When we had 2 under 2 we were really just suriving - it is really hard because there is so little respite.

Now DC are 11 & very very nearly 10 (!) and it is still hard but it has changed - yes they can be left on their own to watch TV etc and we always get a decent nights sleep and you can reason with them to a degree but I am basically a chauffeur and social secretary now eg on Sat night when is was minus million squillion I had to go out 4 times to fetch and take DC to their social events - car had to be defrosted every time and I couldn't have a drink until 9.30pm!

The more independence they have the more I worry - what would they do if cornered by thugs on the bus etc Are they really working hard at school? Are they nice people to be around?

And everything seems quite expensive. 11 yo DS just eats and eats and eats!

Hmm,I have two little ones and am dreading the teenage years.!!

I think its just life.

I think the arguements are a normal but agreeably upsetting part of the day to day.

If someone had told me at the start of 2007 what it was going to be like I think I'd have passed.

(DD has been dx with global delay problems and dp has spent the last few months hospitalised due to newly diagnosed chronic illness.)

It is impossible to know what the future holds,you just have to go with it and hope you can keep your head above water.

I have a teenager and a five years old and if I'm totally honest, I like it when they're a bit older. Ok, they don't need you so much and they begin to have their own life but, I find I have the most fascinating chats with ds (the teen). He has properly formed opinions about lots of things, (that I don't always agree with) but it's nice to talk to him about things on a level and not have to simplify stuff.

my friends and i who all had tinies together and now have teenagers look back in astonishment at how we coped when they were little. it does get physically easier and eventually it gets pretty good - when they can drive you can BOTH go out for a drink and they can come and get you from the pub. Emoitonally it gets more complicated - you have bigger and bigger things to worry about (sex, drugs, whatever the music is they listen to, debt, the fact that you are turning into your parents etc etc). But you can worry about them with your friends over a relaxed meal with a nice bottle of wine or two.

And you are less knackered so sex is more of a possibility, but on the other hand you've got teenagers listening...

My dc are six and eight and looking back at the early years I realise it is much easier and enjoyable now.
Keep reminding yourself that life will become a lot easier as they become older.

We are finding it much easier now dds are 7, 6 and 3. When we had 3 under 5 it was hard, definitely, but it's getting a lot easier. Especially with my 7 and 6 year olds who are far far more pleasant and reasonable than as toddlers.

3 year old still has her moments, can be fairly awful on a bad day, but I can see light at the end of the pre-school tunnel.

my boys are 6 and 8 too and yes it is definitely easier now

You forget so quickly how bad toddlers can be. I went with a friend and our 3.5 year olds to one of those play cafes with a soft play area. And there were all these really awful 1 and 2 year olds just yelling and screaming. I could hardly bear it. Yet it was only a year or two ago that I had several children at the yelling and screaming stage and would have been one of those mothers busy apologising to everyone else for her children. And now I can take them out and they often behave well. Not always, but often. It's so different.

oh Fennel I do so agree.

I can't take screaming toddlers any more

My DCs range in age from 20 to 5. I never had 3 under 5 though - to me it sounds unbelievably hard.
I think the difference as they get older is that while practically it's undoubtably easier (they can get themselves dressed, they sleep, they can wipe their own bums etc etc) and so is physically less demanding, other worries seem to fill that gap. So while I used to worry about whether I'd get a night's sleep or when are they ever going to learn to talk, now I worry about their social skills, their job prospects and love-lives (in the case of the oldest 2), whether they'll be happy etc. With the younger 2, there are SN worries which I didn't have pre-school.
BUT when you get regular good night's sleep money troubles and everything else seems more copable-with, so yes, it does get easier. Just keep communicating with each other - don't let petty grudges build up.

I had 2 dd's under 3 once. now dd1 is heading for almost 13 years old. dd2 is is now ten.

we have the hugest of humdingers in this huse, mostly about dd1 asserting her independance and views on life...but when things are settled, IMVHO I find it a lot better.

When they were babies, my exh was a night worker, I'd put the bairns to bed and that was it for the night. Be stuck on my own and no one to talk to. This was in the day before the invention of internet and mobile phones...stuck with telly.

Now they are older, we can have a dvd night at the weekend with popcorn, candles, fleece blankets and just talk. I love the way of expressions and thier lives.

Yes of course they are both walking bags of hormones, they explode at anythng said in the wrong context..wouldn't have it any other way.

DD1 is taller than me, wears a bigger shoes size and is very intimidating when she tried to get in my face LOL but I can reason with her once she's calmed down..and not ran the risk of having my thumbs slammed in a door. And she eats like a horse...if I can't find her, she's usually got her head stuck firmly in the fridge LMAO

DD2 however, just dresses up, sleeps, eats ,shits and moans a little.