Advice would be appreciated...

[Worn123]

I've been with gf for 10 years, 2 boys, 7 & 5, but the last couple have been a bit rocky. She's very confrontational and argumentative. I'm the complete opposite.

I think I've been slowly grounded down, I set no boundaries and now resent her.

Does this sound controlling?

She falls out with my sister and says I can't take the kids around there anymore.

She hates my brother so we can never go around his anymore as a family.

She constantly cristises my family and makes me feel guilty for seeing them (even without her) So I feel I've withdrawn from seeing them.

Tells me if I leave her, she will tell my sisters husband about her little dark secret from many years ago.

Gets moody if I don't want it, making me feel guilty. Will wake up in night and grope me whilst I'm in a deep sleep - I have to either respond or pretend I'm asleep.

Issues are never her fault - they are always someone else's.

Makes me feel on edge - I avoid saying what I really feel to avoid confrontation.

Just a few examples - but I'm exhausted.

I'm taking antidepressants and feel so low. Desperately unhappy but equally scared to leave.

Sounds like you should leave
She’s abusive

Definitely abusive and very controlling.. not healthy

Yes, I've not been able to see it. Even her own sister has said I'm too good for her.

But why am I so scared of leaving and hurting her? 😔

Yes she seems v controlling and has worn you down. You need to get your family on board to support you. They probably know what she is like but waiting to pick up the pieces after the fallout. You seem lovely, as people have said. You need to stand up to her and thats the only way to get her respect. What have you got to lose? Xxx

@WorkHardPlayHard1 thank you. I have kind of given up now, we rarely argue as I avoid it at all costs for an easy life. I watched my father hit and emotionally abuse my mother as a young child, and this trauma has caused me to panic and fear confrontation.

I am worried about her reaction and worry about leaving my son's.

My family know I'm not happy, but I've never really said exactly what has been going on. I guess as a man I've been too embarrassed to say, and maybe keep telling myself things arent that bad

Yep, agree with all the above. You definitely need to get support from both families, and get your ducks in a row before you do anything.
Does your partner have any problems around alcohol or drugs, or hormonal issues? How are the children coping in this atmosphere?
I wish you the best. Here's hoping you can see a way forward.