Been in a relationship, that I thought was the love of my life for 2 years. Never felt happier. We didn’t live together but we talked about it seriously and started to make plans (at least verbally, I didn’t actually see any evidence but thought none of it)
Normally, he would call before he started work, on most of his lunch breaks and then after work in the evenings we would hang out together most nights at my place and into the next morning and if not then would call then too.
This pattern suddenly changed when he wanted a “break” one morning. I just got a cold hard message saying “I can’t handle how things are going right now, I need a break and time to myself”. That was it. Very uncharacteristic of him too. To me, a “break” always indicates something bad, especially if no reason is given.
But! I didn’t freak out, I respected it and just told him okay, I’m here when you’re ready (as hard as it was!) tried to tell myself that “oh it’s probably nothing, sometimes people get warn out, understandable since we are around each other a lot”. But also feeling very sad and hurt and wondering why because I was always delighted to spend time with him. I refrained from saying anything or sending a message I might regret. He then called the following evening and just said he didn’t feel good, didn’t really give an apology but I let it go and carried on as normal for a couple more days.
I sent him a message saying I love you like I normally would every night if we weren’t together. This night I got no response, I slept on it and waited the whole of next day, still no response. I naturally messaged him abd tried to call to see where he was but no answer at all. I thought the worst thing had happened and it was an awful day. I slept early hoping that I would wake up to something and that all is well.
Instead, I got a message from his number which was from the woman he apparently lived with. I didn’t reply, I immediately blocked his contact and everything to do with him. I wanted to try to find this woman to contact her directly to apologise but after going over it a few times in my head, I just think it’s better to move on and not cause further hurt? It was clear by the message she sent that she had no intention of staying with him, or hearing from me for that matter.
I had absolutely no idea he lived with anyone, I just trusted he was alone because I had no reason to believe otherwise. There were no red flags at all. I feel so foolish and insignificant and so so bad for the partner he deceived as well as me and i feel absolutely terrible for being part of it. I blame myself and think I should have spotted signs.
How can I get over this mess? How can I trust again and how do I forgive myself? My health is suffering, I can’t eat or sleep or function at all really