It's a mother in law one...

[Stressedtothecore]

Five years ago we moved to be near the in law family. What a mistake that turned out to be.
All but MIL moved away.
I would love to move back home nearer to my own family, my DPs are getting older now and have health problems and it'd be better all round as my family is very close knit and it means my DC will be able to see and play with their cousins etc. My DGP are getting on in age, and both have fought cancer this year and don't have many years left so that's another factor to why I'd like to move nearer and spend more time with my family. It's also in the city, so better opportunities for DC and myself and DH for work etc.
The problem is MIL. She keeps commenting she'd be lonely if she moved even if she moved to the next village from us. She knows I want to move back to my hometown.
I suffer with bad depression and anxiety and I haven't made any friends where I currently live and it's just shit having MIL for company. (She's nice enough but we we have very different interests). DH doesn't want to leave her on her own, she has health problems herself and the rest of the in laws live in our hometown too but she won't move back.

I feel emotionally black mailed a bit. I know my own poor mum is lonely when we lived in the same city I used to do loads with her and we get on really well.
I do feel angry with the in laws as this is their mum and they're really not making the effort with her and they all expect me to give up my life and hopes to keep her company. It's getting to the point where I can't even be bothered to talk to them as I feel so angry and let down.
Any advice please?

Stop allowing this woman control your life.

Can you move in with your mother?

Tell your husband you are moving and he can stay with his mother but you are moving home.

His mother does NOT get to dictate where YOU live.

Assert yourself and make your plans.

You are being used by your in-laws.

Take control, make plans and move.

If your husband cares so little sor your well being, he will be no loss to you.

Even if you stay (and I'm not saying you should) - step back from being the companion. Next thing you know you'll be the carer and then there really will be emotional blackmail to keep you there.

Set yourself a goal to spend next Christmas in your new home

Plan to move to where you want to. Give your MIL the option of moving to the same area. I.e ‘MIL we are going to move back to X town. We’d love it if you’d move too so we can still see you lots’

Then you have to let her make her own decision.

You can’t base where you live on anything other than what YOU want

Move to your hometown.

Tell MIL you'll support her in moving closer if that's what she wishes but the move is in the best interests of your own little family and you are moving- and sooner rather than later.
The wider in-laws can complain and bitch all they like. I'd reply to any comments "It's your Mum too-why don't you move closer to her?" (Actually it should be your husband dealing with the comments).