Did your life get better after reaching rock bottom? Really need some hope :(

[Pinklys]

Feeling sorry for myself. I had a horrendous year around four years ago, partner left me and miscarried in the space of a month, almost lost my home, had a complete breakdown, lost a close friend, couldn’t eat properly for months…list goes on.

I felt traumatised by it all for a long time and had therapy and slowly began to get on with things again. BUT, honestly those few years have impacted me and shaped me and I think I will always feel pain in some way about it. As I went through all this I had to watch my sibling get married and my friend have a baby. When I look back on it all it’s as if it was some sort of horror show that I don’t know how I dealt with those couple of years.

I managed to get to a place where I dated again and after a few months I met someone great. Life got better, promoted at work etc. I felt like we were starting to build a life and then a year or so in he went cold, almost overnight and we’ve not spoken since. It’s been a month now. I still can’t believe it really…I honestly felt like it was a movie playing out as one day we were blissfully happy and talking about marriage and the next he was like a stranger.

I’m not as low as I have been when all the trauma happened those few years ago but I have started to wonder if I will ever find real happiness? I’m wondering how much I am expected to take? After everything that happened four years ago I can’t believe I’m facing another Christmas alone. Life hasn’t really got that much better and it’s a long way from happiness. In my lowest moments I kept saying to myself things will change and they have a little but I’m still without a partner and family, the things I really wanted. It’s like all these people around me have it all so easily and without a load of trauma and I’ve had a load of shit with no end in sight for years.

I feel sorry for myself which I know is a horrible trait. I can’t see life getting better anymore, I’m so broken by it all.

No advice but I'm with you in solidarity. My experiences are different to yours but I feel absolutely traumatised due to the last 2 years and I'm not coping. I'm dreading another lonely Christmas. It's like another massive punch in the face. Not making it all about me, just hoping you'll find comfort that you're not the only one going through this xx

Sorry for all you’ve been through 😔 I’ve been in a similar boat in the last. The one and only thing I can advise is to try and find happiness in your life how it is. Start a gratitude journal and write 5 things in it each day that you’re thankful for. It could be as simple as a morning coffee, your health, cosy evening in bed with a movie. Get to know yourself more. Meditate, exercise and throw yourself into hobbies. Most of all love yourself and put yourself first. Be happy with what you have in the now as that is honestly what’s most important.

Over time you will start to be happy with your life how it is. You will be thankful for all you have and put yourself on a pedestal. And once you’ve lost that desperate need for a partner and a family - that’s when it will happen, that’s when you’ll meet the right person. You need to let go of it and love your life the way it currently is. It worked for me.

I hope you’re in a better place soon.

I'm sorry you are feeling this way op. You sound lovely and I'm certain things will get better for you.

I've been through my fair share of shit the last 2 years. I had days where I never thought I would be happy again. I'm tentatively starting to see the light again.

Stay strong, day by day things will improve. Give yourself all that love you would give a partner.

I'm sorry you're having a tough time. Unfortunately life is often like that. I had a rough few years many years ago. A combination of different serious illnesses / accidents / money worries that just came one after another (or several at once it felt).

Some people seem to go through life charmed (although of course we will never know if that is truly the case) and some seem to have wall to wall problems to navigate. For most of us, though, there are peaks and troughs and a lot of muddling along in the middle. When you've had a long trough it can feel like that's your whole life. But it isn't. It's a bad patch, a rough phase. It doesn't mean that's how your life will be.

After my bad few years, life started getting better, and it was a surprise that actually I was entitled to lovely things happening as well. Still now I sometimes pinch myself and think 'when is it going to go wrong?'.

Life can and will get better. You will be stronger and more compassionate because of what you've gone through. Be kind to yourself and take it one day at a time. Look out for the good things in life and enjoy them. And plan things to look forward to where possible.

@layladomino

I'm sorry you're having a tough time. Unfortunately life is often like that. I had a rough few years many years ago. A combination of different serious illnesses / accidents / money worries that just came one after another (or several at once it felt).

Some people seem to go through life charmed (although of course we will never know if that is truly the case) and some seem to have wall to wall problems to navigate. For most of us, though, there are peaks and troughs and a lot of muddling along in the middle. When you've had a long trough it can feel like that's your whole life. But it isn't. It's a bad patch, a rough phase. It doesn't mean that's how your life will be.

After my bad few years, life started getting better, and it was a surprise that actually I was entitled to lovely things happening as well. Still now I sometimes pinch myself and think 'when is it going to go wrong?'.

Life can and will get better. You will be stronger and more compassionate because of what you've gone through. Be kind to yourself and take it one day at a time. Look out for the good things in life and enjoy them. And plan things to look forward to where possible.

What a truly lovely post, very insightful.