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Original poster

What is he playing at?

21 replies

londongirl993 · 01/12/2021 20:47

A guy who I met on a night out and saw afterwards went cold. He told me he wasn’t looking for a relationship and couldn’t be relied upon to meet up even casually, but then we both agreed we’d probably “hang out” again.

But then every time I suggested to meet up he’s said no. I then found him on bumble a few days ago! So I messaged him saying I don’t want to continue to talk to him if he doesn’t want to see me again.

He basically came back with: “I enjoyed spending time with you but I don’t want to meet up with you but message me anytime”.

Like what?! Is he just keeping me as a very last resort option on his terms?

Safe to say I haven’t and won’t be replying but I am just confused as to what he wants and why he wants to keep the door open when he has made it clear he’s not interested in meeting up?!

OP posts:
CoachBeardless · 01/12/2021 20:48

I think he's not interested, but is trying to be polite, hence the vague brush off.

lastqueenofscotland · 01/12/2021 20:49

He said he didn’t want a relationship… not everyone on Dating apps is looking for a relationship. Or maybe he just wasn’t that into you and wanted to let you down gently? I think you’re really over invested in this

icelollycraving · 01/12/2021 20:52

He doesn’t want to see you romantically or sexually but is trying to be polite. I don’t mean that unkindly but I think it’s very clear.

Original poster
londongirl993 · 01/12/2021 21:01

@icelollycraving

He doesn’t want to see you romantically or sexually but is trying to be polite. I don’t mean that unkindly but I think it’s very clear.
I agree, I think he is trying to be polite, but he still could have been polite without saying “you can message me anytime”. He didn’t have to say that did he? Would you say that to someone you weren’t interested in at all?
OP posts:
lastqueenofscotland · 01/12/2021 21:03

He sounds like he wants to be clear he’s not ghosting you but no, otherwise he doesn’t sound at all interested and you sound weirdly over invested in someone you met for a few hours

Comedycook · 01/12/2021 21:04

he still could have been polite without saying “you can message me anytime”. He didn’t have to say that did he

No but I think he was just cushioning the blow. Just forget and move on.

samesign · 01/12/2021 21:04

He probably just enjoys lots of women messaging him for an ego boost whether he likes them or not. Don't let him keep the door open, delete him and forget him.

mugglenutmeg · 01/12/2021 21:05

I think he's saying he's not interested in you but not ghosting you or childishly cutting all contact. He could've said he'd rather just be friends, but the way he's worded it sounds like he doesn't even want friendship from you.

RosieGuacamosie · 01/12/2021 21:06

But then every time I suggested to meet up he’s said no. I then found him on bumble a few days ago! So I messaged him saying I don’t want to continue to talk to him if he doesn’t want to see me again.

Why did you do that when he’d told you he didn’t want to see you again?

thistimelastweek · 01/12/2021 21:08

OP you are grasping at straws.

He's trying to be nice.

Fatgalslim · 01/12/2021 21:09

I think he's been pretty clear, the question should be what are you playing at?

ICanSeeARainbow123 · 01/12/2021 21:10

He's keeping you pencilled in purely for a bit of sexting when he runs out of other people to date. Get some self respect and move on.

Bellafrenum · 01/12/2021 21:11

He's not interested in you. Don't worry about it - next!

icelollycraving · 01/12/2021 21:18

It is the equivalent of someone saying at the end of first dates, I see us as more of a friends thing, whilst the other is looking crestfallen.

TheFoundations · 01/12/2021 21:21

Why are you bothered? He's not going to give you what you want, and he's told you that. Why do you care how his mind works?

FallonCarringtonWannabe · 01/12/2021 21:22

He isnt interested in you. Chatting to you when he has nothing else to do fills a void. Move on.

ClosdesMouches · 01/12/2021 21:53

He's not interested. Move on.

BurbageBrook · 01/12/2021 21:57

He’s not interested and you’re really not getting the hint.

Momijin · 01/12/2021 22:02

Christ woman. He's not at all interested. Take the hint!

WhenSepEnds · 01/12/2021 22:06

@londongirl993

A guy who I met on a night out and saw afterwards went cold. He told me he wasn’t looking for a relationship and couldn’t be relied upon to meet up even casually, but then we both agreed we’d probably “hang out” again.

But then every time I suggested to meet up he’s said no. I then found him on bumble a few days ago! So I messaged him saying I don’t want to continue to talk to him if he doesn’t want to see me again.

He basically came back with: “I enjoyed spending time with you but I don’t want to meet up with you but message me anytime”.

Like what?! Is he just keeping me as a very last resort option on his terms?

Safe to say I haven’t and won’t be replying but I am just confused as to what he wants and why he wants to keep the door open when he has made it clear he’s not interested in meeting up?!

Cut your losses, he's not into you and doesn't want to say it..... you deserve better than chasing someone who's not keen. Hopefully this is one step closer to finding someone nice Smile
Aquamarine1029 · 01/12/2021 22:10

Stop chasing men who have made it clear they are not interested. You're just making things extremely awkward.

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