How to tell the children?

[SlamLikeAGuitar]

Bit of background: DH and I met very young. Got married when I was 19, he was 22, DCs followed swiftly after and in quick succession. We’ve reached a point where we are nothing more than friends and co-parents. There’s no animosity between us, no big blow up event that has led to it, but we’ve come to the decision to separate. I’ve made my peace with it - I can get through knowing that I still have my best mate, even if we aren’t romantically involved anymore.
But I just can’t see how we are going to tell the DCs and the idea of it is breaking me into a million pieces.
They are 6, 5 & 2. In a way it’s a bit of a saving Grace that DH is military, so the DCs have been used to him working away and not seeing him every day, but I know that us actually moving to live somewhere else without him is going to be devastating to them.
What do I say?
I feel like I need to make it abundantly clear that me and their dad love them more than anything in the world, and that none of this is their fault.
Do I tell them that me and Dad love eachother as friends rather than as a husband and wife? I want them to understand that there’s no bad feelings between us - we really are like best mates!
Help

I'm not sure why you want to separate?

You are best friends and there hasn't been a falling out - is it that you don't have sex any more and feel unfulfilled and bored?

I think you would be better trying to stick it out while your kids are so young and getting marriage counselling. Life as a single parent will be very hard financially and you would be well-advised to stay single while your kids are so young, which will be lonely.

Kids are remarkably resilient. Many children have parents who are no longer together and co-parent very well.

There is a lot of advice online on how to co parent well and apps to help you both get organised.
Personally I wouldn't tell them yet until you have sorted out where you'll be living and when he is moving out to another place etc so it would be a good idea to have these discussions with him first.you don't want to mention one thing to the children and then something different happens.

When the time is right you can both tell them. Children need to know they are loved and safe.You both need to reassure them you both love them and they will see you both. You could tell them it will be exciting as they will have two homes.

I remember telling my dd that me and her dad had decided we did not want to live together anymore but we both loved her very much, she would see both of us her school and friends would stay the same and if she had any questions she could ask.
She was fine with it, she then pointed out several friends whose parents had separated and continued with her day. You have the added factor that the children are used to not seeing their dad every day. At their age maybe just keep it basic.

There’s some advice on the Relate website I believe. Good luck OP. I’ve been there. Huge hug xx

planner.relate.org.uk/children/talking-your-children/preparing-tell-children