Time to break up?

[Hello606]

So, been with my current boyfriend for 4 years, lovely man etc.

Sex life has been rubbish for a while and to be honest I just don’t want to have sex with him, even though I love him?

But my main question is, for people who just ‘fall out of love’ or break up due to reasons other than infidelity/something serious etc, how do you feel when you’re ready to break up with someone?

I have never broken up with anyone, only been broken up with and I’m not sure how I’m supposed to feel! I still love him, but just don’t really fancy him anymore and have become quite closed off and he’s noticed.

I hope this makes sense? What made you realise you needed to end it?

Thank you so much for this because I am experiencing the exact same thing. I love him but its so dead between us.

Well if this was a relationship that would last the rest of your lives... you wouldn’t be posting on here, would you?

For me, it was realising I was waking up every day with a horrible anxious feeling looming over me knowing I had to make a decision. I guess the most prominent and final one was when I found myself doing the weekly shop and not even picking up dinners for the week ahead because I knew I'd have left by then, or should have. I lived day to day like this for the best part of a year. I was so fearful of hurting him that I chose to put myself through that instead.

When you know you know. Leaving him was the best decision I've ever made. Good luck OP

If there were still lots of good things about your relationship then I think you might want to try to work on it and see if the other things (e.g. sex life) can get better. I think sometimes the "needing to end it" point is when you realise that actually you don't want to work on it any more, or you just don't believe that the problems would ever be solved.