My boyfriend of 2 years dumped me by text!

[coolcahuna]

So about 6 weeks ago I posted a thread on here about different love languages with me and my BF. Turns out he'd had total cold feet which is why things felt amiss and he wasn't saying I love you as he basically didn't ! So obvious now looking back!

Last Monday i received a text basically ending things. You know how you think you know a person and that they have integrity, well I was wrong. Such a cowardly mean thing to do. In a way the way it has made it easier as I haven't seen him since and only spoken on the phone once. So he's not seen me upset.

We were due to meet last night to swap belongings but I cancelled it. A very wierd way to end 2 overall very happy years and actually just feel very sad about it. Luckily I do think it's for the best which has made things a bit easier.

There were some big red flags in the summer which I stupidly ignored! Lots of unresolved issues with his ex etc.

Tell me it gets easier!

It will get easier but don't keep cancelling returning stuff as you'll only drag those feelings out. Clean break and move on.

It does get easier. I had the exact same thing happen to me after my first serious relationship (2 years as well). The last time I saw him we were still in a relationship, and I've not seen him since. He texted me when I was in the bath and I had a full on panic attack- it was such a horrible thing to do.

So- I bought the book 'its called a break up because its broken' followed its advice, found life post him was so much better and now I'm just so glad he broke up with me and I didn't waste any more time with him!

He's not worth your time- you deserve so much better x

It will get easier and when the time is right you will meet someone who is far better.

@Monalotmoore

It will get easier but don't keep cancelling returning stuff as you'll only drag those feelings out. Clean break and move on.

Totally agree. We've arranged for him to leave it in my shed while I'm at work so I'll have it back tomorrow 😎

It gets easier. Eventually you will feel you have dodged a bullet.

Can you put some great things in the diary for the next sixth months - weekends w friends, week scuba diving, makeover. Try and get a treat large or small designed to remind you you are a boss lady in the diary every two weeks. See lots of friends. Take up running or whatever. Keep busy.

And get a mate to deal w the handover if you can’t face it.

Post his belongings. Don’t speak to him or message him again. There is dignity in silence

Thankyou all. Yes it's the total shock of it last week. I got the message just before I went into 2 back to ask meetings and I'm not even sure how I got through them. Then I went through the denial stage and tried to reason with him. That stage didn't last long as it was hanging over me.

Just so bizarre to spend 2 years with someone and for it to end like this. We had loads of plans made. In fact the day before he sent that text, he was talking to me about plans for next March !

Sadly. Although it’s a huge shock to you, he’s been planning this, and thinking about it.

Get that book the other poster mentioned.

There is no easy route though this, but you will feel better.

We all wish you the very best, you will be much better off in the long run

I've started to make some plans and bought myself a gratitude diary today as I have a very happy and busy life and need to remind myself I've got better things to do than worry about him. Just feels so strange. I wasted a bit of time last week trying to work out why and what's up happened .

But at the end of the day. It's pointless as he's done what he's done and said what he's said. Just got to move on.

such a shock for you. well done on getting through your meetings. it takes time to recover, but you will get there.

What a twat.

Try not to lose sleep over someone so thoughtless & uncaring 💐

He's just another frog you had to smog on your path to ultimate happiness (be that a prince, a pet pug or a sausage roll).

It gets easier. You sound well on the road already.

There was a thread on here a while back from a poster who was also dumped by text after about 2 years.
I think it was titled “Dumped By Text” if you search for it.

That thread should be essential reading for everyone dumped in such an arsehole way, because she handled herself with such dignity.

@nocnoc

Post his belongings. Don’t speak to him or message him again. There is dignity in silence

This all the way.

I’ll never forgive myself for not saving this, but once there was a poster who was dumped over text by their fiancée…

She never spoke to him or messaged him again. Nothing. It’s a great read and the finance of course loses his damn mind!

Oh he thought he’d get this begging and he got all that he was worth NOTHING.

Really nice poster too. She wasn’t even being mean. She was just hurt and didn’t see the point of ever speaking to him again, given she deserved better.

You do too!

Thank you all for the nice messages. I have totally resisted calling him a twat which has been really hard not to! I've left his bag of stuff in my shed to collect today and he's leaving mine. I was tempted to leave a note in the bag but really what's the point . The good thing is I'm getting back my stuff including a painting that he asked me to do for him which I love and never really wanted to hand once I'd finished it

I know there's no point going down this train of thought but things were good between us including great sex, there's a part of me that thinks he might have cheated or someone's caught his eye. I'm sure he'll already be back on the apps.

I'm kicking myself for red flags even at the start now which I ignored as I was into him. We'd been dating 3 months had had the exclusive chat and were official (at his request). Then suddenly one day he sent me a panicky text saying he'd had a few messages on bumble but he didn't know how and has now deleted the app. The panic was due to the fact they lived near me so he was worried they were friends. I knew really that he had been actively swiping.

Also a very weird dynamic with his ex which I won't miss. That's one thing I've learned, look for the relationship with the ex also

@CheesusWept

There was a thread on here a while back from a poster who was also dumped by text after about 2 years. I think it was titled “Dumped By Text” if you search for it.

That thread should be essential reading for everyone dumped in such an arsehole way, because she handled herself with such dignity.

I remenber this one at the time and I wish I had been able to just totally ignore him like she did. I didn't quite act as cool as that but I wasn't far off and I've got there now.