You’ll have lots of people with lacklustre men telling you that Instagram is fake, they aren’t really happy, you shouldn’t be materialistic…etc. I disagree. Please don’t settle if you want a bit of romance. You can have a romantic lovely partner.
I am one of the women you see, I don’t really do much posting on social media though tbh. However, when I was dating I realised that grand gestures were important to me and I actively sought out a romantic man who arranged lovely trips and surprises, and would always mark anniversaries or Valentine’s Day. (My OH is also a brilliant partner who does most of the cooking, cleaning and mental load too- which is just as much foreplay)
If you have accepted a lack of romance and have basically built a life (with children? A house?) then I would say the chances of your OH having a personality transplant is slim, without you feeling like you are begging and harassing for these things.
However- you’ll have to do a bit of that if you want a change. You can hint or request and see if he rises to it. Say ‘I haven’t received special flowers on Valentine’s Day since I was a teenager…’ when February rolls around. Or say that you would love him to book a spa weekend for your birthday.
If he doesn’t do these things, when you have requested kindly or heavily hinted- then that will tell you pretty clearly that he doesn’t give a shit about making you feel special. Then you can decide what to do…