Bloody hell. Help me to get over this, please! It's driving me insane

[ohmywordwhatamess]

I am a reg with a name change as I know some people on here in RL

Anyway, a few weeks ago, I went out with some friends and got terribly drunk. We were out in a group, which included a bloke I have had a bit of a crush on for years, but nothing more.

So at the end of the night he walked me home because we live fairly close to one another. We were both quite pissed by this point. He kissed me, and I kissed him back, and he told me that he had been wanting to do that since he met me.

However, here's the sticking point, he is married and so am I. I love my DH and my DDs and I don't want to do anything to jeopardise it. But I can't stop thinking about this man. I have only had limited contact with him since (it was about 3 weeks ago)and neither of us have mentioned it, apart from he made some kind of test-the-water sort of comment when I saw him last Saturday, where I just changed the subject swiftly. I have no interest in an affair or anything like that, but I keep imagining me and him together.

DH and I have a good relationship, and as far as I am aware this man is happy with his wife and kids. I feel incredibly guilty about what happened, but at the same time I get al butterfly-ey (is that a word?) at the thought of him.

Please tell me how to get over it!!!!!

I think that being at work away from DCs and DH, it is easy for someone to be nice & make u feel special....whereas its just as easy for DCS & DH to take u for granted.....

I have to admit that there were times in my marriage I was attracted to other men - we're all human - but I never took it any further than flirtation because I wouldnt jepodise{sp) my marriage....cos its just flattery & all marriages have bad points

unfortunately my H took it further & we r now getting divorced

dont beat urself up - accept u made a mistake & concentrate on ur marriage....if thats what u want

I do feel stupid for being schoolgirly over this man

I am 36 ffs.

age has nothing to do with it
how u feel or are treated in ur marriage has more bearing

please ignore/forget this man & try to concentrate on ur marriage.....OR be brave & set ur H free - I suspect u dont want that...in which case just look on this other man as sweets u cannot have & forget it

Ultimately, I love DH and this man is a good friend of mine. I don't want anything to get in the way of either relationship.

I will just steer clear of booze when he's out

Hark at me - this man probably thinks I am a minger anyway, and is probably accutely embarrassed, and there's me imagining all sorts of stuff that I shouldn't be

If you want a warning of what could happen, just look at what's happening to HappyDaddy at the moment. Utterly stupid and devastating!

ANYONE would feel butterflyish if an attractive likeable man shows he finds you attractive in a sexy way. It can be especially strong if you have been married for a while. We all need to be reminded that we are still attractive.. even at 66 i suppose.

I agree you should channel these erotic feelings to your DH... seduce him and think only of him when you do. He will surely respond and make you feel those feelings for him.

Don't dwell on it...even in a guilty way. That is also an excuse to think about him. It happened, it is past. Now forget about it. Treat him as normal and be careful not to send out signals...even guilty ones.

Thanks guys.

I deleted this guy's number off my phone to avoid drunkenly text him over Christmas.

I actually feel a bit better about it all today, and I am looking forward to going out with DH on Friday

That all sounds really positive. Have a good time on Friday!

Good. It is a madness. let it pass!

you only kissed!!!

ahem, but i do know what you feel like

Oh my goodnesss - I came looking for advice here, and utterly amazed to see your post as I am having almost exactly the same problem right now. Although it's gone further than a kiss and we have been very open with each other about what we want (nothing) - like you I cannot handle it very well, but am desperate not to appear like a bunny boiler. He's gone suddenly very quiet and I'm thinking he may have had an attack of the guilts - or been under suspicion at home.

Like you - I am very flattered at the attentions of this very handsome and charming man, esp. having had a baby earlier this year and not feeling great about my big fat self.

So - how am I getting over it? He's told me he had a four year affair 9 years ago - and has a 9 year old child from that relationship who he never sees. Just imagining how horrible this is is working quite well. He'd do it to me as easily as he's done it to his (obviously very forgiving) wife.

It was a great fantasy - but when we crossed the line from flirting to other stuff, it has become a nightmare in just 3 weeks! Just imagining how I would feel if I had a full on affair with this man and then it ended - I think I would be devastated.

I have to see him on Friday with a couple of other people in a pub - I am going to stay cool and keep thinking about how much I have to lose by being an idiot over this man. Have a great night with your DH on Friday!!