Relationships

[Sarahjayne123]

Can you really get over a cheating partner

Depends on the circumstances, everyone is different.

I wouldn't. Not a chance.

It's not the cheating per se, it's the lying, right? I've been in open relationships in the past and it's fine, everyone's on the same page, but the same activity if hidden and lied about would be intolerable. If you can't trust your partner then there is no good relationship possible.

Do you mean get over whilst you're in the relationship? Or get over it ever?

I'd say that it is very very hard to rebuild the bridges inside a relationship where one party has cheated. The trust is gone, and that is a foundation block for any relationship.

I believe that you can move on from it once you're on the outside of that relationship. But for me at least, it has left a scar and has had an impact on me longer term. But I can say I am over it, but changed a bit. If that makes sense?

No.

Way more detail needed for people to be able to accurately comment here…..generally, yes (not a very popular opinion here on MN, but I’ve seen it, so many times!) they can but it is EXTREMELY dependant on circumstances……who with (random stranger or your sister) how long, exactly what happened, if he’s truly remorseful…..

I'd have said we did all the right things to move past it.
We separated, he spent over a year apologising and promising to do whatever was necessary to fix it. We went to counselling and finally I decided to give things another go.
I didn't bring it up in arguments, I didn't throw it back in his face and we were in a good place (changed but happy I thought) and he did it again.
I know of 2 other couples this happened to.

So Im pessimistic about cheaters about being able to change.

@whyamidoingit….that’s shit, I’m sorry

Depends on the circumstances everyones different. People will be better able to advise you with some context? Are you talking about your own situation? Otherwise the thread will dry up quickly.