Did your ex ever get in contact again after an abrupt break up?

[Thanksforthememu]

Just that really. We had a weird break up…had an argument one weekend and then a few days later he went distant. Told me he loved me but he had ‘a lot going on’…I left him to it. It’s been a couple of months but heard nothing. I’m not sure I want to be with him anyway but the lack of closure was a bit shit…I guess just a hope you’re well or something would have been nice.

Really? I wish my ex would stop contacting me now that it’s over, think you’re lucky he hasn’t!

5 months after I called out his misogynistic wanky behaviour he started messaging me.
I knew full well I didn't want him back. But totally wanted an apology for his bullshit.
I got my apology, face to face, then blocked him.
He thought apologising was getting his foot in the door again 🤣🤣

I have, to return stuff, it would have been a better and real closure to light a bonfire in the back garden.

Problem with meeting after such long silence is that you can only meet a guy who doesn’t want to be there, one who wants to make up when you don’t or one that is not interested and is just having his ego stroked.

If he was interested in ever meeting you again even if only to say good bye, he would have already. Men are more straight forward, when they disappear, they really meant to.

Yep, his parting shot was 'I don't want a mediocre relationship' so I thanked him for his honestly and wished him well. 3 months later the texts started coming through trying to engage me in conversation. I guess the grass wasn't as green. I told him to 'do one' in the end.

Closure is something you find within yourself, not something he gives you. So he's actually helping you to find it faster by not being in touch, because he's not muddying the waters.

Look to yourself, now.

No. It’s been 10 years now!

I had to contact him after about 6 months because his teenage son randomly sent a horrible message to my son online. He sorted that out, but no further contact.

Every xmas . He turns up with some (very very inexpensive) presents - think petrol station. I give him a coffee and a mince pie. He makes them last 45 mins, faffs around, then says "well if you aren't cooking, I suppose I'd better get going".

Errr, yes.

Sorry ex, no chance. You blew it being a lazy, selfish, manipulative arse and life is much nicer without you.

Only if there're bored and lonely, you won't get a genuine apology or closure, just move yourself on from it.

@MintJulia

Every xmas . He turns up with some (very very inexpensive) presents - think petrol station. I give him a coffee and a mince pie. He makes them last 45 mins, faffs around, then says "well if you aren't cooking, I suppose I'd better get going".

Errr, yes.

Sorry ex, no chance. You blew it being a lazy, selfish, manipulative arse and life is much nicer without you.

Is he planning on repeating this again this Christmas do you think - the cheeky devil? Will you break the pattern this year? 🌹

My ex and I had a bitter and court infested divorce. 4 years later in the supermarket ordered drop
Off point he says ‘I miss you. With you and D.C. and DS I had a family who loved me and cared about me I don’t have anyone now I miss you - would you ever take me back?’ I looked at him
And laughed and said it cost me £40 K to divorce you and I’m finally happy without you why the hell would I do something so ridiculous ?

He then turned stoned faced and said ‘you always loved that bloody dog. More then me’ and I said ‘yes he shits outside, it’s easy to clean up, he’s never hit me, he protects me and his family don’t give me grief. He’s kind and loves the children and doesn’t create a mess behind him of course I love him and not you- you are an anti-dog ….. just go away I can’t be bothered with this’ or words to that effect and he left crying …… been a bastard before and since but I don’t regret splitting up

@MintJulia

Every xmas . He turns up with some (very very inexpensive) presents - think petrol station. I give him a coffee and a mince pie. He makes them last 45 mins, faffs around, then says "well if you aren't cooking, I suppose I'd better get going".

Errr, yes.

Sorry ex, no chance. You blew it being a lazy, selfish, manipulative arse and life is much nicer without you.

That reminded me of an ex of mine that never misses a year sending a Christmas cards, birthday cards and even Easter cards. So every year I end up going into MoonPig and resentfully pay for a late card to be sent to him as I don’t want to be rude when what I would like is actually sending a note asking him to stop the bloody cards now.

I wouldn’t say it was an abrupt end but I divorced my first husband after 11 years together for cheating multiple times and abusive behaviour. He called me once to say his new girlfriend (of 4 months and there was definitely a cross over) was pregnant because he didn’t want me finding out from anyone else (we didn’t have children) then nothing and randomly after 8 years I get a message from him. I’d remarried with 2 DC by then. It was a long message about he was going to therapy & his counsellor made him realise he was abusive, how sorry he was & I was the love of his life.
So weird. I didn’t respond.

I had a break up over text message, after a four year relationship. He was away with work when he sent the message. I left the house & moved a long distance away. We’ve not spoken a word since. No explanation. I find it odd to this day!

When I was in my 20s I had a long distance boyfriend who had started as a friend. As friends we used to write to each other very regularly. One weekend we had an argument. I got up the next morning and said I was going to go and catch up with a friend and let things blow over a bit. Never heard from him again.

Closure is a choice. Decide it’s over for you.

And yes, up I had moved on and he clearly hadn’t changed! I never replied.

Send the message @GrandmasCat and don’t go on moon pig to order a card. It isn’t rude at all.

Mine vanished and I was fine with that as it was getting a bit crap but he’d pop up places I’d be at watching then a month later he said can we start again. I told him to fuck off.

Will do, I just didn’t send a birthday card, and won’t be sending Christmas card, if I get another one, I’ll ask him to stop.

Interestingly, we ended up in good terms and he had a very nice relationship with DS so I don’t understand this shit of sending cards for 15 years now when we have not had any other kind of contact for at least 10. 🤦🏻‍♀️

I had an ex contact me over lockdown. After 40 years. He seemed surprised that I was less than interested

Yes.

3 months later.
6 months later.
12 months later.

Each time I told him to sod off, each time he has a new girlfriend.

Ridiculous. Luckily he hasn’t bothered for the last 6 months.

Yes a year later he sent me a text saying, I miss you. A whole year!

I blocked him then as I thought if he genuinely missed me he would have decided that a long time before.

Yep, his parting shot was 'I don't want a mediocre relationship' What an absolute bastard. That's a horrible thing to say.

Mine did about 9 months later. Sent me a video of him blowing a kiss. I left him on read. I'm told he's still shagging my ex-best mate (who is married) and kind of feel sad for the lives they lead now. Am very, very glad that I'm not part of that toxicity any more. Saying that, I did feel pleased that he got in touch because I felt that it was a final act that leaves me with the power of no.