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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Mending Myself

1 reply

Wookey123 · 28/11/2021 11:38

I had a minor operation but have been immobile as a result, its been the biggest eye opener of my life in terms of all my relationships. Ive been at home for 8 weeks apart from 2 trips to the hospital. Two of my friends didn't message for over 2 weeks after the op despite me messaging both of them recently on the day they had procedures. My work colleague who is also a friend has hurt me the most, She said good luck and she'd be in touch the next thing I heard via our work wattap her son had covid & she'd caught it. Then my son caught it so i messaged her but its always me that messaged. The other week there was a meeting and they phoned me to include me but to be honest i couldn't hear anything so i messaged her & said what did she think. She said she would try and call me that weekend but now its almost the end of the following weekend & nothing. I feel so hurt & angry, it changed how i feel about everyone 😪 i've been in perimeno & started hrt in june which helped low mood but i Litterally keep crying about everything ( i never cry,) i suffer from stress & worry but i just dont know what to do anymore I am so hurt & angry i want to cut everyone out but i know this will not be good either. I've decided the only way is up now but emotinally I'm battered & broken. Sorry for rant I just wanted to know if anyone has felt like this , how i can help myself. I know being stuck in my house all this time with no exercise hasn't helped me mentally.

OP posts:
TheFoundations · 28/11/2021 12:46

The first and only step to mending yourself is to realise that you're not broken. All your feelings are perfectly normal and acceptable responses to things that are happening in your life. Your job isn't to fix yourself; your job is simply to take care of yourself.

Be gentle. Imagine you were someone else. Would you say 'You are battered and broken.' to a person in your position, if you loved them? Or would you hug them, bring them copious amounts of chocolate brownies, make them their favourite drink, and ask them what film would help to settle them or make them feel better? Would you ask them what they needed and try to provide it? Or would you say 'You're broken, mate. You need to fix yourself'?

Treat yourself nicely. Calmly. Gently. Soothingly. People have been rubbish and your feelings are hurt, but you don't have to be rubbish to you too. Think of something that you like. Something that might just make you feel a little bit better. Do that. Then think of another thing, and do that. Even just the act of trying to support yourself towards feeling better can help. Flowers

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