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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

My daughter

2 replies

iamtheoneandonlyyy · 27/11/2021 19:43

I left my children's father a while ago to a refuge. I took my children and now we are on our own home and moved on a lot from before.
Their dad was an emotional, psychological and financial bully that was dipping his toes into being physical with it too when I arranged to leave.
Since then on two occasions my young daughter has said 'you were mad when daddy was here. He didn't do things how you liked'
And then she adds on a bit about his new partner and how I wanted him to go and live with her.
Now, this is a total memory jumble. The new partner wasn't around at that time in any way and I certainly wasn't 'mad' or angry when we left. I've told her I was sad not mad and she disagrees.
I feel so upset that she's (or rather he's) got her thinking I was the angry one. He upset her so mdd as my times and thankfully she seems to have forgotten a lot.
Is she going to grow up thinking it was my fault? I didn't get into it with her, I just gently said I want mad I was sad.
I'm so worried all I've done to protect them is going to be turned around on me as she grows up.
Not to drop feed, she's 4. Her father is awful with contact, currently has stopped. He's a manipulative person he may have even got her to think this way I don't know,
Am I worrying over nothing

OP posts:
Embracelife · 27/11/2021 19:45

She is four.
She is just processing what happened
Get some play therapy thru the refuge
Get some counselling for you

iamtheoneandonlyyy · 27/11/2021 20:08

I spend a lot of time worrying about the effects of everything on them 😔I left so they'd know it wasn't ok for someone to act like him or for someone to put up with it. And so they wouldn't have to be on eggshells themselves which at times they were.
He's still local he toys with access because it's the only way he has to still affect me. He doesn't care that it affects them.
She's the main one that looks up to him really I will speak to someone about play therapy.

OP posts:
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