Do men need to feel needed?

[SandraOhh]

Just that really.

ICanSee

"I think a lot of men are intimidated by independent women. Not all, but a lot. It's pathetic."

Agree 100%

When I was single I had guys say to me "I'd date you if you were a cleaner, but not as a HCP".

Go figure....

What's a HCP?

'I didn't feel that I was needed anymore' is a standard line from the script of cheating bastards. It's quite a clever one because it can be quite plausible for a man in his mid-life crisis to complain of not being needed. DC might be flying the nest, and wife might be re-starting her career. Outsiders will nod and say 'oh yes, he didn't feel needed anymore'.

I think someone who needs to feel needed is pathetic.

I would say they need to feel wanted and valued.

He said I don't make him feel like I need or want him in my life. Heaven forbid I want to sit on the sofa or lay in bed without being entwined like bloody octopuses. Or dont feel the need to make plans for the next time we'll see eachother during the current time we're together.

Sounds oppressive, OP.

Sounds like he doesn’t know how you feel about him. If you still want to be with him. Or indeed if you even love him/like him.

Do you? Think you need to talk.

I tend to make plans to see someone again before I leave or make plans to phone and discuss when we can next meet, if I like them.

Perhaps you’re different but if he feels distant from you then if you can’t give him any more than you do perhaps you’d be better leaving him as it sounds like he wants more from you.

@Ellen888

ICanSee

"I think a lot of men are intimidated by independent women. Not all, but a lot. It's pathetic."

Agree 100%

When I was single I had guys say to me "I'd date you if you were a cleaner, but not as a HCP".

Go figure....

Sorry, but this made me laugh. What did these men do for a living? As it seems unlikely that you were being told this by accountants and architects. 😂

Saysama,

"What did these men do for a living? As it seems unlikely that you were being told this by accountants and architects. 😂"

No idea, I didn't ask !

I ac see

"What's a HCP?"

Health Care Professional

@Ellen888 Totally understandable! That would be the end of the conversation for me, too!

@SandraOhh

He said I don't make him feel like I need or want him in my life. Heaven forbid I want to sit on the sofa or lay in bed without being entwined like bloody octopuses. Or dont feel the need to make plans for the next time we'll see eachother during the current time we're together.

Not sure I want someone to “need” me, but certainly want someone to “want” me.

But I was with someone and they didn’t wish to discuss the next meet-up, I’d be a little bit put out TBH.

OP, were you the poster who goes off men as soon as she has sex with them? As, if that’s the case, perhaps just send this poor guy on his way.

I think of myself as an independent person - both financially and emotionally. I don't 'need' anyone in my life. It doesn't seem to put men off in my personal experience. But I expect some men would be.

I remember in the office once, one woman said 'I don't need a man'. One man replied 'That's why you don't have one'. It made me realise men need the same amount of romantic gestures as women really.

Everyone wants to be valued.