My husband sees red if I dont "phrase things correctly", or he disagrees, and flies into rage

[NotDefeated]

I have a problem with my husband. We run a business together, he is the director. I do the financial side (those of you who recognise me, please dont "out" me on this thread).

It is happening more and more that he consults me on a business matter, and barely let me speak before he flies into a rage and starts mouthing off. Either because he disagrees, yet he wont give me the courtesy to explain why I think how I do. When he calms down he often conclude I was actually right. Or, he gets hung up with how I phrase things, because he cant say it like that when he goes to meetings. I am not a sales person, I am not a manager who negotiates and go to meetings. I dont "do" business speak, yet I am intelligent, and I have valid opinions. I think it is highly unprofessional to burst out in a fit of anger because an employee or business partner is giving an opinion and is "not phrasing it correctly". Any normal reasonable person would let the other person speak, get the gist/logic of what is being said and so "translate" it to something that could be used in a meeting.

If I am outlining an analyzis of a situation, but dont select the best and most business like vocabulary, I dont think I should be interrupoted and attacked.

Especially not at 11 am on a sunday morning when I have been up since 6 looking after kids, or at 11 pm at night when I am knackered, and it suits him to talk. I am not on business mode all the time. I am not able to switch at the drop of a hat because he demands it.

I have now written a letter of resignation to him.

Goodness knows how this will affect our lives. I cannot live with this.

He sounds power crazy and stressed, and probably terrified of his responsibilities with the company and unable to cope with the pressure. People that are insecure often criticise those around them - it's a defense mechanism. (If I make you feel like shit it will make me feel better - syndrome).

It's gonna blow sometime so better you face it head on when you are in control of the situation and a letter of resignation seems like a good start. Good luck with that.

Yeah. He ripped it, binned it, and laughed!

Refuse to work for him anymore and go and get a job somewhere else. Tell him that you are finding an employer that doesn't talk to you like shit. See how long he's laughing when you don't turn up on Monday.

Ripped it, binned it and laughed?

So, what, he thinks he owns you or something?

Don't work for him again. Just don't go. Refuse to discuss business matters with him. Full stop. Look for a job where you will be treated with the respect every employee deserves.

why are you resigning on a Sunday?

doesn't this completely go against your point that this is not the time?

I work with dh and agree it's hard to keep work out of your home life - for that reason I certainly wouldn't be dealing with something this big on a Sunday morning

If you are who I think you are, you are both very worried about the business. This might be the time to pull together not resign. Explain that to him.
However you don't have to put up with being talked down to and getting another job might be a good temporary solution to your problems anyway. So it is worth talking about that too.

I am she, Carmenere. And you are all right, we should pull together. He has apologized. I told him he had to really consider how he is treating his employees, because if he treats them the same way, then I am really worried. He said I had "special privileges".

It will be very difficult to find somebody to replace me, I know the business, I am handling all sales reports, new business, accounting and financial planning and budgeting.

Which I am apparently crap at, since we are struggling so.

If you're so crap at it, why didn't he accept your letter of resignation?

He sounds like a bully to me. Never mind a stress head. He would be hauled over the coals in front of a tribunal if he beahaved like this to someone outside of his family who worked for him.

I'd get another job. Your letter still stands regardless of what he did to it. Print out another copy and file it. Working with family sometimes just doesn't work.