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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I miss her a lot even though she hurt me, please help

3 replies

Usy777 · 26/11/2021 22:04

I was in a relationship with a girl about 6 years ago, we were only together for around 4 months and things were going well until I found out she was engaged. One of my friends found out and when I confronted her she denied it but I found out it was true after seeing him on her social media so I deleted her off everything even though she tried messaging me just before her wedding. She eventually ended up getting divorced a year in to her marriage, that was around 5 years ago. Around last year we got back in touch and we got back together as she seemed to have changed a lot, but a while in to the relationship she revealed that she did have quite a few boyfriends before then and that she had slept with a few. I was understanding and things seemed to be going fine after and we even planned for marriage, but then I noticed how much of a rush she was in to get married and how she said she always misses me. But lately we have argued a lot and she has really wound me up to the point where I didn't want to speak to her, she knew I wanted my space but to get my attention she ended up blocking me off everything. When I asked why she blocked me she said she didn't want me to have access to her if I can't commit to her, even though she has a lot of random guys on there! She eventually unblocked me. My own family wasn't happy about my relationship as my mother wasn't keen on her but I eventually persuaded her to accept (I realise now how stupid I was). A few months later, I noticed her being open again about other guys but instead of saying anything I stayed quiet. When she asked why I was quiet, she insisted that I can talk to her about anything so I told her that I wasn't happy with how open she is with other guys, she then went on to say how she didn't want to be with someone that is insecure as her ex husband was the same. I was quite annoyed at this point as she has said herself in the past that she is insecure too and she always had mood swings and emotional issues due to her endometriosis which I was always understanding of, it hurt that she couldn't be understanding of my mental health. So then she went on to complain about me not committing to her, at this point I had enough of it and said that if she wants to end it she should do it now so she went ahead and blocked me off social media. She didn't block my number but now I have blocked hers so she can't get in touch with me. I told my mother that we had broken up so she shouldn't get in touch with her mother to sort wedding arrangements, at that point my mom informed me that she rang her mom a couple of weeks ago but she said that she was busy and and that she would ring back later which she never did. I was tempted to unblock her and have a go at her for saying that I was the reason things weren't progressing. But I though forget it, I no longer want anything to do with her anymore. Its been over a month since she blocked me, I have missed her a lot and was tempted to try to get in touch with her. But I am trying to stay away from her as I know she's not good for me, I just want to make my life better and completely forget about her and be happy. How can I make my life better?

OP posts:
CheeseCheesePls · 26/11/2021 22:20

Are you very young? The relationship sounds very immature and well done for not wanting to commit.
How to feel better? Just fill your life with things you enjoy and don't contact her. Before you know you can move on and meet someone else. Use the time being single on learning about yourself, and what it means to be in a healthy relationship.

GroovesintheHeart · 26/11/2021 22:29

This has been posted before

bluebell34567 · 26/11/2021 22:32

no contact.

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