How close are you to large age siblings? And your mum?

[Cacee3029]

Exactly that really. I'm 30, my mum had me as a teen as well as my brother a few years later. Remarried and had 2 more kids when I was a 10ish+ and they are now teenagers themselves.

I've never had my bio dad around if that's relevant, so no other family.

Don't feel close to my siblings or mum at all. I mean I don't have anything in common with teenagers of today which doesn't help.

I also have two dc myself closer in age to my siblings than what I am to my siblings.

I don't expect to be really close to them. Obviously all at different life stages. Even with my closer in age brother, we are so different.

I feel left out the family most of the time. I actually moved out at 18/19 so I've not been living at home for a long time. They have their family and I seem separate... I know I'm older but I don't feel included in anyway.

My mum and I weren't close when I was a teen, we always argued. She was always busy with the then little ones but I felt like she should have made more time, we didn't do anything together where all my friends were doing nice things with their mothers. Like shopping trips, cinema etc. It was all around my small siblings at the time - which I can understand having young dc myself.

My teen sisters do all the things I always dreamt of doing as a teen with my mum. They seem so close. I feel pushed out. They go out for meals and I'm never invited.

My mum never makes time for me by myself.

I'm suffering really bad with anxiety etc right now and going through a tough time and I feel like no ones there for me at all!

I have a Dp but he's so close to his mum. I'm quite envious. I know I have my own little family now but even before I had dc, I felt pushed out. My mum has always put my younger siblings first. I get they are younger but when I was a teen they were allowed to do what the hell they wanted and she always stuck up for them but literally shouted me all the time.

I'm also envious because from a young age I had to work to pay for everything. I was also made to do a lot of chores. Yet my sister who is 18 always gets the latest phones, expensive make up, clothes etc and doesn't have to pay for anything herself or lift a finger.

To add, it's not a stepdad problem. My stepdad is actually so kind.

I don't think I give them a reason to dislike me. I'm a pretty chilled person, generally quite pleasant to be around I think?

Not at all to either my older brother or my mum.

Our father died when I was 5, brother 16. My mum and I were close when it was just the two of us after my brother had left home. (He HATED this fact, and actually announced we should do nothing at the weekends until he was home from university, whilst being allowed whatever fun he wanted). But we were too close in a way, it was too suffocating a relationship.

Brother started bullying mum and she'd take it out on me. If he wanted something of mine he got it, regardless of how much it meant to me. I do feel for my mum, but she could have stood up to him (he's all words, no action) and after being really hurt a few times by her I've detached. I am upset, but don't see why I should be sacrificed to keep him happy.

Unlike you my childhood was dominated by him and his needs, which probably set the way for his feelings of entitlement. Mum didn't need / had no incentive to make mum friends with parents of my friends as she already had lots through my brother. So I was often the hanger on whilst the two of them hung out with their pals.

It sounds as though your issues come from your Mum rather than your siblings.

I am in a similar position - I also had a teen Mum, who remarried and I have siblings who are 8 (now late 20's) and 20 years younger (now mid teens) than me. I moved out at 16 so never lived with the youngest.

My Mum is genuinely my best friend now despite the rough years we had which led to me moving out and I am also very close to my siblings - the teens in particular like a lot of the same things I did/do so we bond over those I suppose but as a family we always make time for each other and none of us feel favoured.