Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Dumped? Or friends?

2 replies

ratsratsratsagain · 25/11/2021 14:02

I met a man online in October and we went on 4 dates and chatted on the phone a few times. Lots of messaging in between dates and he always messaged me back quickly and initiated the phone calls. He's 50's, I'm 40's.

Dates all went really well but no physical contact initiated by him or me. I did invite him into my house after our second date and he declined.

On our second date he did ask where we were heading and I said I didn't know as it was too early to say but I'd like to get to know him more. He commented that I didn't seem flirty with him. I said its early days.

After our most recent date he said he didn't feel we were any more than friends and although he liked me a lot there was no spark.

This has thrown me a bit as I've not had this situation before. I'm usually having to slow things down on the physical side of things and past boyfriends have always commented on my looks and told me they've found me attractive.

I suspect he's letting me down gently by saying we'll be friends although we do have some mutual friends in common and he said he'd arrange for us all to meet up.

I'm not going to contact him again now, but I would like to see him again even if it's just as a friend. He's the first person in ages I've connected with,we chatted for hours and had similar interests. He's a really interesting person, has a great job where he gets to meet lots of well known people and
has many funny stories. He's also very polite and caring. I had thought the attraction side of things was a slow burn and it would develop.

Shall I just wait and see if he contacts me? Any insights would be great.

OP posts:
samesign · 25/11/2021 14:30

Quite honestly I'd leave this one, he's told you there was no spark for him, this could be as he felt you weren't giving much away in your attraction for him which could of put him off, unless you feel that strongly about seeing him again, it would have to be up to you to contact him and let him know your still interested but the risk is you'll get rejected again, I don't think he would message you.

If I were you I'd carry on searching for another date, you will find another guy that mutual attraction just happens naturally with.

ratsratsratsagain · 25/11/2021 17:00

Thanks for your reply samesign.
I've never had a slow burn situation with someone and I didn't really get the chance to talk to him about what he thought about that possibility last night.
It's disappointing as on line dating is such hard work!

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.