Break up or just a phase

[Holiday55]

If anyone has been in this situation, please let me know what you did etc

Been in a relationship for 3.5 years, lovely man, no complaints other than he could be more thoughtful/want to do stuff together and we don’t have much sex (I’m not sure if it’s just me or because of attraction).

One of the men from work recently told me he found me attractive etc and I do too and we get on really well but I never realised he felt that way. We’ve been chatting here and there since whenever we see each other, but nothing has happened obviously, but I find myself wanting to see him.

My boyfriend has noticed I’m distant with him but I can’t say “oh yea it’s because I fancy someone else”!

I’ve never broken up with anyone so I don’t really know what you’re supposed to feel like when you do! If I did break up with him, it wouldn’t just be for this other man of course, I’m not a complete idiot, we’ve not known each other long.

Is it normal to be attracted to 2 people at the same time?
When you break up with someone, how do you generally feel?

You’ve been together a relatively short time, you don’t do much together and he isn’t interested in doing more, the sex is infrequent, and you aren’t sure he’s attracted to you. If you think those aren’t cause for complaint then your relationship bar must be set pretty low.

Which is why you’re attracted to somebody else. People in rubbish relationships generally do find that after a time their eye begins to wander. It’s not so much a case of being attracted to two people at the same time (which is also perfectly possible, many people are non-monogamous) but being attracted to somebody who appears to actually want you when the person you’re with doesn’t.

Break up. You’ll both be better off for it.

I suggest you should break up. He doesn't make much effort / isn't thoughtful / sex life isn't great.

The decent thing is to break up before you get together with someone else.

I suggest you keep these 2 issues separate. First of all, do you want to split with your bf? (sounds like that may have come to the end of the line).

Life is way too short to spend with someone who isn't right for you. You;re asking the question, which means he isn't.