AIBU to decide not to forgive him?

[Katywilkes89]

Long story short 5 moths ago my DH was caught texting an ex fling of his on Snapchat. I was absolutely heartbroken and I have tried to forgive him but its proving hard. There's a lot I don't believe like it was just texting etc and I am adamant they met up etc.

OW has been trying to cause trouble recently with fake accounts and indirect messages to me, which is making me just think that this really isn't worth it anymore. The trust is gone and although he is now trying to make amends I am finding it very difficult to forget.

I think I would like to end the relationship, I still feel quite heartbroken.

That sounds awful, can't say that I blame you for wanting to end tge relationship. Once the trust is gone its very hard to move on.

Absolutely understandable that you're feeling heartbroken. But I think YADNBU to end things. I know it's trite, but he truly doesn't deserve you. You gave him a chance, which is more than I would've done.
It hurts so much now but god you'll be relieved once you're no longer a nervous wreck

It's absolutely okay to find you can't forgive a betrayal like that, and you don't owe it to him or to the relationship to keep trying. I left my marriage after 18 long, miserable months of trying to get past his cheating. In the end I was just miserable and drained. The relief I felt when I accepted I was done trying was immense. If this is where you are, you'll know I'm sure.

He is a liar and you can’t trust him, move on.
Get your ducks in a row behind the scenes and speak to a solicitor.
Do you have children, and a job ?
Have you thought about where you’d like to live ?

We have 2 children both of school age and yes I have a job.

Since it happened I have spent many night fretting and generally just being very depressed. I took a huge step a couple of months ago and decided to take of myself better (for me!) And have lost quite a lot of weight and I am feeling great in that respect. I just want to feel normal again and I would love to be with someone that I can truly trust.

I took a huge step a couple of months ago and decided to take of myself better (for me!) And have lost quite a lot of weight and I am feeling great in that respect. I just want to feel normal again and I would love to be with someone that I can truly trust.

It sounds as though you have your head screwed on and have already decided what you want (which you clearly cannot have with someone who abused your trust.

I just wanted to chime in to say that you can leave a relationship at any time for any reason, you being unhappy is justification enough. However, in this scenario I would say that he has given you more than enough reason to end the relationship. You cannot forgive and forget and his behaviour and the OW are making it impossible for you to move on.

You don't need to waste your energy on him.

I don't blame you one bit. He proved you can't trust him. You deserve better.

It’s not easy and everyone’s situation is different. All I can say is that DH and OW well and truly got Karma’d.
DH and I stayed together, he admitted that it has boosted his ego but although stirring up feelings from 35yrs ago they weren’t enough to act on. I can relate to this, I have been through similar during our marriage but before social media was a thing. I think virtual flirting is much easier than in real life. Most of us just wouldn’t have the nerve to do it in real life and certainly not when it’s in front of potential witnesses. The digital era makes it so much easier. I think this is why I was able to forgive him. We are digital dinosaurs who are a little naive with regard to how things are done online, but put us in a disco and we know all the rules.