Child sad years after separation

[Crunchyautumnleaves]

ExH and I have worked hard to coparent well. Its not perfect, I doubt a separated family can ever be perfect but I thought we manage really well. Its very amicable, we both put the children first. Youngest told me in a quiet moment together that he wishes he could see me every day. We talked about how much fun he has with his Dad and when he is at school etc. He admitted he would miss his Dad, loves time with him, enjoys his friends, but he said he would give it all up to be with me. It was a sad moment and I can't fix it. There isn't really an answer.

How old is DS? That's hard to hear. Is it linked to anything that happens at yours or his?
My DD10 has been complaining about seeing her Dad but only on a Sunday night because of the turnover so it's just 1 night but cuts the weekend short. So I think it's the timing moreso.
But it's still hard. I know their Dad can be demanding.
When they get a bit older they can have more say where they stay.
I think we're inclined to feel guilty but actually no parenting situation is perfect.

Thanks for sharing your experience. He's 8. I can't quite figure what's behind it. As I was typing I was thinking than even when parents are together children have phases of preferring or needing one parent more and it shifts.

Please don't feel too guilty. It is great you co-parent well. Such thoughts may be fleeting, but even if they are not there will always be something that would or could be better in your DCs minds.......just keep going.

Suggest you don’t give it too much weight.

Yes acknowledge his feelings, say you miss him too (I wouldn’t minimise by saying ‘but you love your time with your dad - both can be true). Agree it can be hard sometimes, that you understand.

Consider this though: my eight year old asks me not to go to work as they miss me. And to have another baby as they enjoyed the year I was on Mat leave so much.

I’m not giving up work, or having another baby. Yes dc1 misses me sometimes. But overall I know my choices to work and spend time with the kids are best for me, make me
Happy and make me a good parent.

There were reasons for your relationship to end. Even if you’d stayed together (and be showing him a miserable relationship) he might have another ‘request’ of you.

He’s a kid. He’s expressing how he feels (good thing!) but he can’t see or understand the whole bigger picture now (an’d that’s ok!)

But it’s triggering something in you as society is still so negative about ‘broken families’. But staying together and being miserable is bad for kids too.