A few months back I met a guy on a dating app. His profile said single and as we got chatting he revealed that he and his partner (long term but not married) had separated earlier that year and were still in the same house for the sake of the kids, one of whom has a chronic illness and another MH issues but that he was absolutely free to date.
I was a bit dubious but things seemed to line up. Although a long distance ‘relationship’ we spoke every day, met when we could, and after a while agreed to be exclusive.
In the last couple of weeks he started to withdraw and snap about the stress I was causing him. At the same time, a male friend was in his city and whilst swiping on a hook up app matched with ‘my’ boyfriend. On his profile he stated he was single and bi and looking for casual hookups, threesomes and groups.
When I confronted him he said it was none of my business, he was free to do what he wanted and it was a bit much for me to be annoyed at him being with other people when I’m happy to be with him despite the fact that he’s married.
He then admitted the separation was a lie - it was a rough patch - and he and his wife are now restarting couples therapy and he’s committed to making it work and doesn’t need me trying to wreck his marriage.
Needless to say I blocked him everywhere and am raging at the nerve of him.
Having told some friends about it - all married - they are fairly unanimous that I have a duty to tell his wife what he’s been up to so that she isn’t doing therapy to save a relationship with a cheating scumbag.
I am thinking it’s always the messenger that gets shot and he will twist everything to make me the evil one and him the victim.
What would you do, oh wise ones?