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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

When is it time to leave?

0 replies

ZACHSHAT · 24/11/2021 10:34

I know I have seen threads on here before about similar but I'm struggling with whether or not to end my relationship.

DH and I have been together 20 years. Two primary aged DC. Both work full time. Things were good until the DC arrived. But being truthful, the cracks were there before. We are pretty much at the stage where we have one day off a week together. We spend that as a family. The rest of the time we do separate things. I don't want to spend time with him TBH. He rarely shows any interest in me either. He's not the fun man I married, he's a grumpy middle aged man now. I'm not the fun girl he married either. I feel like I've had to be the grown up for both of us.

Both our parents have similar relationship TBH. He is a hands on dad. Even though I stage manage most of it from behind the scenes and carry the mental load. I feel invisible and unloved. I feel lonely. But I know I would still be lonely on my own. It would destroy our DC.

I want him to change but I don't think he can. I want to change too but I feel like I have so much resentment I can't let go of now.

Everyone in real life tells me it's not too bad, he's a good dad etc. I feel like no one realises I matter too. I don't know what to do.

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